For the Hell of It
I’m writing tonight just to get something out of me.
What’s on my mind right now?
A day can be busy, but that doesn’t mean it is full. A day structured with even the best intentions can be busy without ever being full. There are days where I have my goals fully mapped out, and all of them involve building my business in one way or another. I wake up, pump myself up with some coffee, maybe catch a podcast while I’m getting ready, listen to another podcast in the car, send some emails, read articles, engage on LinkedIn, work on my content offerings, put systems in place, it’s all good stuff.
But if I’m not careful, I end up feeling completely burnt at the end of those days. At 10:00 after hours of consuming content I shut my laptop and my head is buzzing like a streetlight on a hot summer night. This is about the time that the weird I’ve-had-too-much-coffee type of anxiety feeling sets in. Which is right about the time that I attempt to quell that anxiety by thinking to myself “you did a lot today, relax, you’re accomplishing your goals”.
There have been nights where I’ve gone to sleep after one of these episodes and literally DREAMED about social media. No bueno. And don’t get me wrong, I love connecting with everyone out there in internet land, but dreamland is a whole other animal, that’s sacred space. I’d much rather be riding a giant taco off into the sunset or some such nonsense than to be having a strange LinkedIn stress dream.
Then the other day, I did something just for the hell of it.
I drove.
I was on my way to drop a friend of mine off at work. I turned my car around after she got out and made my way towards home. And then, before I even had a chance to think about what I was doing I completely drove past the turn that took me home.
And I just kept driving.
It was a beautiful day outside, and it was almost like my brain was saying “no, we’re not going home yet. It’s autopilot time”. There were no podcasts in the car that day, no goals oriented thinking — just the radio, the sunshine, and some backroads. And even when I look back on it now, I have absolutely NO idea what I thought about during my drive. Not a single thought seemed to have passed through my mind that day, and it was beautiful.
It was during that drive that I was reconnected with the art of doing something just for the hell of it. The analytical side of my brain tells me that in order for me to be successful I need to be intentional about everything that I do. But what I forget is that the creative side of my brain desperately needs time to wander in sweet NOTHING.
No wonder why I have my best thoughts in the shower. It’s where I wash off the sleep of the night before, unwind, clear my head. It’s the physical representation of the place I inhabit between sleeping and waking. Where thoughts slowly begin to bubble to the surface as I turn my shoulder blades to the water and let out a long exhale.
What I’ve learned this week is that I need to be more intentional about manufacturing the solace of a hot shower or a long drive to nowhere. For the sake of my creativity, for the sake of my sanity, sometimes things must be done just for the hell of it.
Thanks for reading,
Ashley
