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Freedom From Guilt

Lately I have been writing about many things in relation to behavior, emotions, mistakes, etc etc. The most powerful emotion I would like to go into today is guilt.

Guilt is defined officially as the following- “the fact of having committed a specified or implied offense. To blame, to induce someone to do something.” That sounds pretty accurate. One of the most desired, yet most difficult thing to obtain is Freedom from Guilt.

Freedom from guilt is something that requires a lot of mountain climbing to get to. Once over that mountain, is when true pure blessing can be obtained.

The definition I listed above fits me perfectly. I have been guilty in many ways both in a courtroom, on the streets, in the home,and most often, I’d say guilt has been one thing that has stepped in between myself and my loved ones in the past. Guilt creates in me what it is most famous for, and that would be self hate.

We can be forgiven over and over again, but it is still sometimes near impossible to feel that forgiveness, and allow it to successfully remove the self hate, and to create an embrace of forgiveness. When that road can be established, is when the opportunity is there to create a sense of awareness, hopefully to prevent such behavior that created the guilt from repeating itself.

Sometimes that forgiveness cane be stalled because there still is times when related expectations are just too high

I read somewhere that “guilt and failure are not links in an unbreakable chain.” Although I do believe that, it still often is much easier said then done. So much self hate, a feeling of disgusting sinister loathing just continues to sit there, in the gut, in the mind, and in the heart.

True sincere forgiveness is still on a road that is long from the end where success awaits. There seems to be a gray area that includes in it, sifting on the problem, figuring out a solution, letting that solution do its job once figured out, and just simply letting go of one’s own shame.

I have spent many years letting guilt destroy me, letting it keep me from growing. I allowed myself, both physically, and mentally remain stuck. When I wasn’t letting go on the guilt and shame, I was stalling from working on my self in a positive way. I was literally hurting myself. I was having this battle inside that was ME vs ME. There was just no easy way out.

Even today, I allow a lot of my terrible deeds of the past to still haunt me. My original victims have long since forgiven me. I was becoming my own victim. I was hurting myself. And I couldn’t, and sometimes still can’t forgive me.

To this day, I still have to work very diligently on stopping from being enslaved, written off, condemned, and sentenced to a life of guilt. It is just that I have done so much in my past years that would make the devil proud. I spoke the other day on self esteem, self appreciation, and self compassion.

Those three areas I hurt the worst within myself. I spent years going backwards, and in turn, the road back is very difficult to catch, and there are many forks in the road where I just do not know which road to take. I have got to catch myself, and stop feeling old pain, especially when I look into the eyes of the loved ones I have hurt.

That’s what it is, its OLD PAIN. If I am forgiven from people, then I have no right, rhyme or reason to hang onto that disgusting, and destructive guilt and shame.

The only road to health, must first cross over the bridge that is Freedom From Guilt.

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Michael Patanella

Michael Patanella

Author, Publisher, and Editor. I cover mindfulness, mental health, addiction, sobriety, life, and spirituality among other things. MichaelPatanella.medium.com