Gender Equality in the Workplace - Are We There Yet?
Have you ever been in one of the following situations?
(If you haven’t, then go ahead and skip to the end.)
(Right before your presentation) Is my outfit okay? What about my face, does it look alright? Oh dear, I hope I don’t embarrass myself!
(Giving your opinion — part 1) They’re all simply staring at me, nobody’s nodding. Is that a look of disapproval? Is it me — do I look okay? Sit straighter! Quick, tuck the tummy in!
(Giving your opinion — part 2) I’m explaining my opinion and about to make a conclusion, and that’s when a guy jumps in and manterrupts —
Guys, I’d like to point out that … ends up giving the opinion that I had. Only difference, people go — oh yes! that’s a great insight!
Manterrupting: Unnecessary interruption of a woman by a man. Usage dates back to the first time women started participating in meetings.
(In a meeting) Should I really say what I think? Will they listen? What if they think I’m too aggressive? Maybe I should recheck the facts (did that twice already, but just to be sure, let’s do it again!)
(Also in a meeting — part 1) Nobody’s taking notes. Should I point it out? What if I’m the one who ends up taking notes because of my ‘pretty writing’?
Pretty writing: A ‘compliment’ often used by men when asking women to take notes. All women are supposed to have a ‘pretty writing’ and the inborn ability as well as passion for taking notes. Often followed by remarks such as:
- Your writing is prettier than mine.
- You know how to organize these ideas better.
- You’re the only woman here.
Usage dates back to the era when women were first allowed to work as secretaries.
(Also in a meeting — part 2, taking notes) Okay, I think I got all that in this sentence. Uh oh, they stopped talking. Are they reading? Uh oh, now they’re going to start judging this sentence.
And right on cue, somebody mansplains, “That doesn’t seem quite right. I think you didn’t understand everything. Let me rephrase that for you so that you get what we’ve been discussing so far.”
Mansplaining: When a man explains something to a woman in a patronizing and condescending manner. Often marked by the use of the term ‘actually’.
(Leading a project) Yes, I’m finally a manager. I have be better than everybody else. Can’t afford to goof up! Oh boy, I just asked for updates long overdue and he didn’t look that happy. What if he reports back to my boss that I’m too aggressive, too bossy? What if my boss agrees? I should have dialed down my tone. Maybe I was a bit too harsh on him.
And then, there’s this classic bropropriating:
Bropropriating: Taking a woman’s idea and taking credit for it. Usage — You know where I’m going with this, right?
If any of these sound familiar, then DON’T WORRY. You aren’t alone.
Countless women all over the world, especially in the tech industry, are in the same boat as yours. Women have been grappling with issues such as the imposter syndrome, sexism, bias, pay gaps, glass ceiling, mansplaining, manterrupting, etc. ever since they started working. Almost every woman that I know of has a story that’s about sexism at workplace. Especially if that workplace is in the tech industry. More often than not, such scenarios are an unconscious lack of consideration than something truly malicious. Yet, it’s sad that men still don’t get it.
What’s sadder is that women’s actions are judged differently than similar actions coming from men, particularly the actions of a female manager. Every action is put under a microscope and judged. They’re also more likely to be antagonized as bossy, condescending, and uptight.
So what is a working woman supposed to do in face of such seemingly insurmountable odds? Three things.
#1. You’re not a fraud. Stop doubting and start believing in yourself.
Don’t let worry and self-doubt plague your work. You’re never going to get anything done if you keep this up!
It’s true that, as a woman, you’re judged by different standards. It’s also true that being a woman, you have a hard time being taken seriously so when you speak, so you’ve got to be twice as good to be taken half as seriously as a man. But self-doubt doesn’t help much here — it’s toxic and unhealthy.
You’ve got to stop doubting yourself, stop over-analyzing everything you do, and stop worrying about how you’ll be judged for your actions. Everybody feels this way — even people with some of the most famous achievements in the world worry that they’re not as smart as everyone else. This incident from author Neil Gaiman’s life is a great example of this feeling.
Believe in yourself and just keep going. You’ve got this!
What you should do: Start small — stop obsessing over how you’re eventually going to fail or disappoint people. Let someone see that document you’ve been working on since last week. The next time you’re writing something, maybe share it when you think it’s good enough, instead of waiting for it to be perfect.
Check this out.
- Author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s speech at the 2015 Girls Write Now Awards
- Educator Dena Simmons on how students of colour confront imposter syndrome
#2. Speak up for yourself as well as for your colleague.
I don’t know how many times I’ve put up with locker room talk at work just because I was the only woman in the team. I’d also take on more work, as I didn’t know how to say no. So I’d complete their tasks, which they’d then pass off to their bosses as their own. And the locker room comments continued at almost all our meetings.
This went on for a while and before I knew it, I was THE overworked, overstressed, and underpaid member of that team.
I don’t work at that place anymore.
But when a similar situation presented itself at my next workplace, I chose to stand up. I told my colleagues discreetly that locker room talk isn’t welcome anywhere, least of all in a professional environment.
I know a lot of people out there advocate women to adopt a discreet tone, for fear of being perceived as aggressive. So, I’m going to go one step further and share the exact speech that I gave during this moment at work –
“Guys, I strongly believe in being an excellent professional at work. But, being an excellent professional also means not making remarks that might be perceived as offensive. Locker room talk falls into this category. There should be no room for locker room talk at workplace meetings. It’s particularly offensive and disrespectful towards women, who also are a part of this organization and help it grow. As such, we can all make an active effort to avoid such situations. Let’s make our workplace a truly inclusive, diverse place to work.”
Guess what? The locker room talks stopped. The requests for favours at work also stopped.
That gave me enough courage to stand up for myself more often. I’ve even started negotiating my salaries instead of meekly accepting whatever my superiors decided.
What you should do: Speak up instead of silently agreeing to everything. Say no every once a while, trust me, the world isn’t going to end if you say no. Don’t feel overwhelmed if you’re the only woman in the team, your voice is important and your opinion matters. Remember, if you don’t stand up for yourself, no one else will.
Check this out.
- Pricing consultant Casey Brown on how women should know their worth and then ask for it.
- Sheryl Sandberg offers powerful advice to women aiming to go up the corporate ladder.
- Read the book Bossypants by Tina Fey. She manages to give excellent advice to women who work while being hysterically funny.
#3.Women aren’t women’s worst enemies. If you’re being one, then stop it. Right now.
Most women aren’t busy plotting and scheming to ruin one another’s lives. Some do. Just like some men do. I know of several male colleagues who:
1. Compare themselves to other male colleagues,
2. Strive to be better than ‘the other guy’,
3. Withhold information that might prove beneficial to the others …
The list goes on. So no, contrary to popular notion, women aren’t women’s worst enemies.
Between the time spent at work striving to be taken as seriously as our male colleagues, and the time spent with our families trying to explain that we have career goals too, there’s no time left to plot the dramatic downfall of our female colleagues.
If you do find some real life cases of women who actually indulge in such behavior, at least give them the benefit of the doubt. Instead of quickly antagonizing them based on a stereotype that may or may not true. After all, these women have had to face years of bias to get to the position where they’re in right now.
What you should do: The advice for both men and women at work would be — don’t indulge in suspicious, competitive behavior towards one another. All it does is foster an unhealthy and toxic work environment. Nobody wants to work in such a place, so why encourage one in the first place? Instead, strive to be encouraging and supportive of one another. Be a better version of yourself and treat others the way you yourself would expect to be treated. That’s the only way to build a positive and happy work environment.
Check this out.
Why just the one video? Because that’s how powerful this woman’s words are. She simply rocks!
I haven’t been through any of these situations. I haven’t noticed them work either. So I skipped through everything until this point (because you asked me to, right at the top.)
That means you’re either -
1. an extremely lucky woman working at a place that’s accomplished gender equality (truly happy for you),
2. or that you’re a man.
In either case, here’s something that you should know –
- Women remain underrepresented at every level in the corporate sector in several countries of the world. This is in spite of, in some countries, earning more college degrees than men.
- On an average, women continue to be hired and promoted at lower rates than men. At senior levels, the gap in promotions is more pronounced for women of color.
- Nearly 50 percent of men think women are well represented in leadership in companies where only 1 in every 10 senior leaders is a woman. A leadership team with only 10% women is considered to be good enough, indicating that gender equality has been achieved.
- Senior-level women negotiate more often than men at the same level. Yet, when they do so, they are far more likely to receive feedback that they are “intimidating,” “too aggressive,” or “bossy”.
If you’d like to read up more facts, take a look at the 2017 Women in the Workplace report, a joint study by Sandberg’s Lean In’s organization and McKinsey & Co.
Do this now.
These are just some facts. Yet, you can see that gender equality at work is still a work in progress, and not mission accomplished. If you want it to be mission accomplished, here are some thing you could do –
- Don’t indulge in locker room talk, no matter where you are. It’s offensive and disrespectful. If you notice your friends or colleagues indulging in the same, try to put an end to it.
- Don’t blindly believe in the stereotypes that society’s come up with on women.
- The next time you have a meeting and there’s a woman in the room, offer to take notes. Don’t automatically assign the task to her. Try to break the stereotypes.
- Offer feedback to your female colleagues and request the same from them. Trust me, you’re in for some mind-blowing facts about yourself.
- Support the women in your lives — at home, at work, even on the streets. Saying that you support them isn’t enough. Do something. Treat them with respect and consider their opinions without bias. Above all, give them plenty of opportunities to prove themselves.
- And finally, (this is a no-brainer but it needs to be said) — hire more women. Diversity matters. It isn’t something that’s trending right now. It truly matters.
Conclusion
It’s 2017, and yes, the workplace is still dominated by men. But look how far we’ve come — and how did we manage to achieve all that we have today? By keeping up the good fight, and not giving up. No one’s going to give you a raise, a promotion, or that challenging project that you’ve been eyeing for some time now, unless you ask for it.
Here’s to yet another day of fighting for equality at work — it’s not a privilege, it’s a birth right.
Credits: Thanks to all the women who I’ve had the chance to work with. Thank you for sharing your stories. Thank you for fighting every day to empower women everywhere. Keep it up, ladies!
