Getting Ready to Get Ready

I’ve considered myself a member of the Twelve Step Tribe for many years. I joined when a family member asked for my support. I immediately discovered that my Higher Power had brought to me the system of healing that I most needed in my life. What a blessing it has been to learn and study the Twelve Steps.

However, in all these years, I’ve never done a 4th step inventory. I just wasn’t ready. It seemed like another way to be unkind to myself, rather than an opportunity for growth. But I kept studying, and reading, and attending. I listened carefully to all of the wonderful stories that I heard about the benefits of working the middle steps.

Taking an inventory is a stumbling block for many. But it’s not a reason to give up. It’s only after years of observation of my fellow travelers that I became ready to do a formal fourth step. I’ve spent years getting ready to get ready to do it. And I’ve finally realized, that was exactly the right approach for me.

Until this year, I really wasn’t ready. I would have set myself back if I had tried to force myself to take this step. I needed to be extremely grounded in my relationship with my Higher Power, which happens in steps one through three. I needed to allow that broken part of me to begin to heal.

This is the beauty of the Twelve Step system. Through careful and persistent study everyone can benefit, even if we get stuck on a step for many years. As long as we keep coming back and working the program, we will make progress. I’m always in the right place at the right time. Understanding that has made all the difference.