Happy Accidents: My Meditation Journey

Once upon a time, I was anxious.

Shreshtha
Ascent Publication
6 min readSep 2, 2019

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Some people do meditation to kick start their day. They have morning routines. They wake up, have their coffee, go for the walk or hit the gym, and meditate.

I was not one of them.

My wandering mind used to keep me up at night, Hence, I was not an early riser.

I didn’t use to hit the gym regularly — I still don’t. I am one of those people, who rush out of the home in the morning — mostly not having any breakfast at all.
Also, I used to have a perception, that people who are aged or doing stressful jobs during the day — do meditation, to keep them sane.

Whereas, I was a college kid — enjoying my life, hanging out with my friends, going out on dates.

Fast forward to two years into the college, I was diagnosed with Anxiety and started therapy for it.

My body, frequently, retaliated against my mind — which was a safe haven for the anxiety, in the form of hot flashes and palpitations.

As I discussed these symptoms with my therapist, she explained to me how anxiety expresses itself in the form of physical symptoms. It made sense, as I used to experience gastrointestinal problems, palpitations , along with trembling extremities.

She recommended me mindfulness and breathing exercises .

People get confused by both the words — meditation and mindfulness. They often use them interchangeably — which is both, correct and incorrect.

Mindfulness is a technique people often use to meditate.

To put it aptly, meditation is concerned with the training of the mind, and making it more aware, focused, conscious, and to enhance its concentration power. People often sit still and do meditation for some amount of time.

Whereas, mindfulness is concerned with being more present in the moment. It facilitates immersion in the present, giving full attention to the task in hand. It is a technique used to practice meditation.

According to a study, people spend 47% of their waking hours thinking about something else, and not what they are doing at the moment — this typically makes them unhappy.

Being fully immersed in the present is essential to forgive the past betrayals, regrets, and eliminate uncertainties of the future.

I always knew, vaguely, how mediation was good for us. Like many things, I was aware of its benefits — but I didn’t feel an inclination towards it.

Now, I just had to do what my therapist recommended to me. I left the mindfulness part and started with deep breathing.

I did not start it to improve the quality of my life, I had no other option. It was a means to manage my collapsing world.

I regularly performed deep breathing — which pretty much involves taking deep breathes for a stipulated amount of time. I could do it for 7–8 minutes.

Gradually, I saw a lot of positive changes. The acid in my stomach started to settle down a bit, incidents of palpitations got less frequent, along with a reduction in the episodes of trembling fingertips.

Those of you, still wondering about the benefits of meditation, it lowers the the blood pressure and as much as — alter genes.

The progress made me curious about meditation. Deep breathing is also a form of it. I wanted to explore other forms of it.

It felt something I needed to do — I had to rewire my brain.

As I was researching and digging in deeper — mostly through the internet, I came to know about the scientific benefits of chanting OM. (It is a sacred word in Hinduism, and yes — I happen to be a Hindu)

Om is more than a sound, but the vibration of the universe. It is the frequency of energy that connects and joins all things together. It is not a short and sharp sound. It lingers and flows like energy itself. Ommmmmmmmmmmm…

— Jeff Cannon, Contributor, Modern American Monk — Author / & Founder of The Simple Truth Project

I began my meditation journey by chanting OM. I kid you not, with its regular practice, I felt one with the environment. I felt a perfect harmony with my surroundings — the universe.

I felt free, I felt flowing.

One fine day, I was sitting idle at home, waiting for the call from my would-be organization, regarding the joining details. All of my friends were busy, and frankly, the weather was too hot to get out of the home.

Out of boredom, I decided to clean up my cupboard, which possessed my old books, novels and random bundles of papers.

Anyways, in the process, I stumbled across some of my old drawing books and felt a sudden burst of happiness. It reminded me of good old days — I was a happy kid.

I started flipping through the pages, and encountered pretty bad drawings.

Out of the blue, I decided to draw — as an adult.

I didn’t want to embarrass myself, not that there was someone watching , but I wanted to be good at it. I decided to draw the old classic — mountain scenery.

I took a pencil and started scribbling on the paper. As I was drawing, I began to feel very merry and cheerful. I still sucked at it. But there was some weird sense of freedom, some sense of joy in the process.

I got interested in finding a connection between doodling and happiness.

I read a piece of work, that scientifically explained, how meditation is connected with drawing.

Wendy Ann Greenhalgh, in her book, describes how everyone can pick up a pencil and draw, as an alternative to normal practices of meditation. She urges people to shut down their inner critic and draw like a child, as a beginner.

Everyone can draw. Far from being a rare gift, only possessed by the ‘artists’ among us, drawing can be as natural and instinctive to us as breathing — if we let it.

— Wendy Ann Greenhalgh

I draw at times. It lifts up my mood and makes me more joyous.

Five Senses

It is a very famous mindfulness exercise. I got to know about it from my therapist. In this, we stimulate our 5 senses.

See five things, listen four sounds, feel three things, smell two things, and taste one thing.

She says it is not necessary to do this in one way, the exercise can be done with any number of permutations and combinations. It is a quick way to ground yourself.

I generally do this one, when I am outside — in the car or a public area. It quickly calms me down. It is an easy fix.

I feel meditation is anything that makes us more aware about ourselves and our surroundings .

These exercises have promoted the overall state of my mental health, while giving me a better perspective on life. I mix up my meditation routine every now and then. At times I’d chant OM, other times I’d only practice deep breathing. At times — when I feel particularly creative , I draw.

Meditation promotes peace and harmony. So, anything that makes you feel grounded and divinely, practice it as a form of meditation. Whether it is singing out loud, or dancing alone in the room.
It helps one to channelize the energy into a more positive feeling rather than a negative one. Some people workout — it is their form of meditation.

There is no age or time to start it. Likewise, do not wait for something ill to happen to your mental or physical health.

Meditation is a way of life. Embrace it with open arms. Give it a shot. Whether your aim is to reach a higher level of spirituality or claim scientific benefits of it — just do it. It changed my life in a very accidental way. I stumbled upon it, and now, I am embracing the privileges.

Happy meditating!

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Shreshtha
Ascent Publication

Keeping a keen eye on humans. When not writing, you can find me humming to some song, daydreaming, or plowing up research.