Oct 6, 2017
Here’s What Happened When I Stopped Listening To Every Person
Why it’s important to listen to yourself instead of always others.
I was an interesting child growing up, filled with thoughts that didn’t quite make sense. Today I’d like to talk about one in particular, stemming from a fear of making people upset.
I didn’t enjoy conflict all that much, it made me uneasy and scared. I shied away from any sort of confrontation. But at the same time I wanted to ensure people were happy, had a positive view of me.
This sort of thought process led me down a road where I suffered from depression, but also manifested into something more.
It turned a shy and nervous boy and made him into a people pleaser.
It was one of the determining factors on why I spent seven years studying to be an accountant. The strong belief that I had to get good grades and find a nice paying job and that’s all that mattered compelled me.
But it didn’t feel like something I truly believed in.
I was the kind of guy with no real opinions, but could talk about what other people thought of the subject.
In short, I felt like a shell.
All That Changed So Suddenly
I can’t quite pinpoint when the shift happened. Whether it was a network marketing pitch, or listening to a few eye opening presentations, I slowly started to make a shift.
In the end I started to defy the original path set for myself and doubled down on a path that I planned to make for myself.
For once in my life, I started to take control and push forward with what I wanted to do.
It felt great.
But there were more things that happened to me when I made this shift. More than a sense of control.
I Felt Like A Rebel
One of the big things was I felt like a rebel. A rebel in a good type of way.
Deep down I didn’t really believe in the standard lifestyle that people were supposed to lead. All throughout my time following the path I was on, I felt out of place.
Not necessarily that I didn’t belong or anything, but this path didn’t feel like this was the best path for me to take. I didn’t want to admit it and figured over time I’d get used to it.
I clearly didn’t.
It felt great to be rebellious. That I was forging my own path through my own means.
This was by far one of the greatest reasons I found comfort in. Early in my journey, there was some tougher times. And even though times for myself are still tough, it was tougher back then.
From making myself look stupid to struggling to make a living doing what I love the most and more. I had to deal with uncomfortable conversations I wanted to avoid, and I lost some connections. But I found comfort in this reason as I believed what I was doing was something I believed in.
I wanted to pursue it until the end and do it my own way.
And no one’s words, criticisms, or judgement was going to get in my way.
I Had A Reason For Existing
Like I said above, I felt like a shell, picking up things that people left behind. Whether it was opinions on a subject, to people telling me who I should become, I followed.
One of the big issues with that though is you never could carry a conversation. At least for myself I struggled with it. Putting aside the obvious shyness I had, I struggled a lot with conversations on a fundamental level.
Of course having confidence in myself to talk was one thing. But I also couldn’t carry conversations all that well. I saw it most on online conversations. I was comfortable online and found solace in there.
The reason I struggled though was I didn’t really have many opinions. Again I felt empty.
When I went into business, the pinnacle point of me being in complete control over my life, I had to leave that behind. I had to start thinking about what are my thoughts. What are my beliefs?
I listened to a few people about what I should be doing at the beginning. But again it didn’t match up with what I really wanted to do. I felt like a shell.
It was only when I went into business with myself and for myself did all these changes really start to sink in.
In essence I had to recreate myself from the ground up at that point. And that was my reason for existing.
I wasn’t some guy who would someday be an accountant. I wasn’t an apprentice learning web design, coding and marketing. I became and am me.
I Became More Confident And Certain Of Myself
It may be an obvious thing but it is worth noting nevertheless. I became more confident and slowly I became far more certain about myself and where I want to be going.
In the past I didn’t really know where I wanted to go or what I wanted to do with my life. Again I was a shell that floated along through life. But when I decided to start my own business up, it was a step forward.
It looked like a huge risk at the beginning. I went from a traditional and secure job to running a business with no skills and no income to support it. For a lot of people they will say that’s a stupid move and past me would agree. But at the same time I’d argue that, because I was thinking long term.
The same way I am thinking long-term now. That wasn’t there if I was taking the short and narrow path. I had a basic plan before and that was torn down immediately from a few speeches that I happened to listen to.
Now, I am more certain than ever with the path that I’m taking. And it’ll only get better.
