Oct 26, 2020
How An Immigrant with a 5th Grade Diploma Beat the Odds in Education, Business, and Health
My dad is an inspiration. The odds were often against him. I’ll start when he lived in the small town of Amorosi, Italy, northwest of Naples. It is a beautiful, close-knit farming community along the railroad where everyone knows everything about you. In 1945, there were no cars or refrigeration. They used a root cellar to store the wine and olive oil. Farm animals were a way of life for food, milk, cheese, plowing, hauling, and transportation.
My dad was a rambunctious boy with a sense of humor. Toys were almost nonexistent, so play for a four-year period was mostly outdoors around the farm. He doesn’t remember exactly what he was up to but, unaware of the dangers, walked directly behind his neighbor’s horse and was kicked squarely in the back of the head. After he scrambled home crying, my grandmother cared for him using home remedies. “I never went to the hospital,” my father describes, “it’s just not what we did.” The injury was traumatic, and he remembers my grandmother trying to get the hair out of the large wound, cleaning it and then falling asleep.
According to Mayo Clinic, serious traumatic brain injury can cause longer term cognitive issues such as difficulty understanding speech or writing, taking part in conversations, in concentration and with self-control. This is where we believe my dad’s educational issues started.
When I was a child, my dad always encouraged me to do well in school. I struggled with reading initially and he would give me a quarter for every small pocketbook I read to him. I liked quarters to play arcade games when we went rollerskating. He would say that he failed many times in elementary school and eventually, both his teachers and parents gave up on him. Neither had the resources to help a person with learning disabilities in the late 1940s. With his constant attention to my reading, I could see he was not giving up on me.
It wasn’t until I was an adult that both he and I connected the brain trauma he experienced at a young age to his difficulties learning. I interviewed my dad for a project, and he began crying when we discussed learning. After he fought back the tears, he stated he and mom recently watch a documentary on TV talking about the long-term effects of traumatic brain injury. The commentators discussed evidence supporting the effects of brain trauma in young children.
Simultaneously, it was just coming out that NFL players with repeated concussions were experiencing cognitive issues years later. My father witnessed firsthand many of the long term cognitive issues they discussed in the documentary. Looking back, I remember the difficulties he had, especially around conversations when I was growing up. He finally had some understanding why he had such difficultly learning and why letters and numbers sometimes appeared differently. We believe it was a combination of dyslexia and long-term effects of brain trauma. It’s possible, according to The Davis Dyslexia Association International, he acquired dyslexia from his head injury as this is common. My dad thought for decades he was just born dumb.
At age twelve, he received his elementary education diploma because of old age, not proficiency. At this time in Italy, you had the option not to continue to middle school and instead, pursue full-time work. School wasn’t an option for him moving forward. My grandfather gave him three choices to pursue a trade; a mechanic, a beautician or a tailor. He didn’t like to get his hands greasy, so being a mechanic was out. He had no desire to be a tailor, so he became a beautician. He liked that it prevented him from procrastination. When the customer came to have their hair styled, he had to complete the work promptly or fall behind all day.
He apprenticed with a local hairdresser for four years and then wanted to learn more about hair coloring. He found an expert in Naples and studied under his direction for two months. Craving more expertise, he wanted to apprentice with a famous beautician in Marcianise who took part in international competitions. However, first, he had to get his foot in the door so he got creative.
Creativity Opens the Door
That week, he boarded the train to Marcianise with a homemade bottle of wine in his hand. He gave the bottle of wine to the famous beautician and asked if he could stay and learn. The beautician agreed. After closing for the night, the beautician opened the bottle and enjoyed a bold tasting glass of red wine. My grandfather was a great vintner, with Barbera and Sangiovese being his specialties. Busy cleaning up, my dad was still around. Before he departed, he asked if he could return tomorrow with another bottle of wine. The beautician agreed. This went on for some time until, eventually, he convinced the famous hairdresser to give him a full-time job.
Talent and Passion Combined Will Get You Noticed
My dad soon learned he had a passion for cutting and styling hair. He was a natural, and many of the wealthy women of Marcianise would request his services. He became so busy he would work late into the evening and then take the long two-hour train ride back to Amorosi. Sometimes he would fall asleep, miss his stop and would have to run for four or five miles to get home through the fields, on the roads or along the train tracks. The statues of Mary, Jesus, and the Saints would calm his fears from being alone late at night in the dark with minimum lights.
By age eighteen, my dad was a famous hairstylist and making very good money. Around the same time, my grandfather who was a hard worker, purchased one of the first cars in their town. Prior to this, his family used the train, a bicycle, or walked everywhere they went. My dad capitalized on this opportunity as a young entrepreneur and began charging as a chauffeur for weddings. His services were a hit.
Not long after, my Dad found himself in the Italian Army as it was mandatory for men of age. Once again he used his creativity. The officers of his unit quickly learned of my dad’s talent as a hairstylist. They asked him to style their wives' hair and in return, they gave him a cushy job of manning the storehouse. His time in the army was relatively easy because of the respect he earned with the officers and their wives.
When my dad was in his early twenties, my grandfather decided to move the family to America for a better life. The family applied for visas and my dad, now an adult, was the third in the family to leave. It surprised me to learn the Italian army let him leave before he finished his service. Maybe his rapport with the officers helped. The United States wanted more beauticians from aboard to fill vacancies, and my Dad’s visa was called. His two older sisters had already immigrated to America. When my dad arrived in New York City, bypassing Ellis Island, he met some cousins, his older sisters and his brother-in-law. His first impressions of America driving through this large city was that it was filthy with so much trash in the streets. On that drive, he wondered why he left the countryside of Italy. Picture a winery in Tuscany.
They didn’t stay in New York City long and went two hours north to Glasco, NY. My dad worked for an Italian hairdresser for one year there and soon became famous for his skill, like in Italy. Being talented at his craft, other salon owners pursed him and offered him an increase in salary. He eventually left and took the raise. He still regrets leaving for more money because the family friend gave him his first job in America and was good to him.
Pursuing His Calling as an Entrepreneur
After three years at the new salon, he desired to open his own business. The paperwork and regulations were daunting for a man who spoke broken English and had limited reading skills. However, my uncle helped him file the paperwork, and he had a grand opening for his own salon. It was an instant success because his customers followed him everywhere he went and my grandmother would bake cookies for them each morning. She was a fantastic Italian chef! I still miss her wonderful meals.
My mom attributes his success to his passion, talent and the fact that it was in vogue at the time to get your hair styled by a handsome young Italian.
At first, he rented a salon, but eventually, he purchased the home of my mother’s grandmother, which had since changed hands, and he renovated it to be a salon. This transaction was all with cash. He bought his car and first house with cash too. Zero loans. This still baffles me. He was an avid saver, but obviously very successful. Good for a man with a fifth-grade education.
However, my dad was not satisfied as a successful entrepreneur. He did the hair of many well-educated, successful people and always felt he was not smart. He had a burning desire to get a high school education. He starved for more knowledge.
Adversity and Setbacks Are an Integral Part of the Road to Success
I still remember the day like yesterday when he held up the GED books in front of a group of friends and asked God to help him succeed. I could see the fear in his eyes. I knew this would be one of the hardest challenges of his life. He was in his mid-fifties and going back to school while working full time. When I returned from college on weekends, I would often see him studying. Sometimes he would ask me questions in math and science; I was studying engineering. My success thrilled him. However, writing was always the most difficult for him. He worked with his tutor often.
After grappling with his studies for three years, it was time for the exam. He passed all parts expect for writing. Frustrated, he worked with his tutors for months but failed the second time. I still remember the disappointment in his voice on the call when he told me the news. However, he didn’t give up. Putting his nose back to the grindstone, he studied for months with his tutor and passed the third time. He was now officially a high-school graduate at age 58.
He received a special award from the program for his efforts as Student of the Year! I couldn’t have been more proud of him.
His Biggest Challenge Yet
Fast forward nineteen years and my Dad found himself in the hospital ICU with severe hypertension and kidney failure. Years of putting his family and work before his health had caught up with him. The doctors gave him less than four years to live. After being discharged from the hospital, he complained about not having control of his blood pressure. Often he could not get a blood pressure reading or it spiked to frightening levels. I tried to help him with solutions to his health, but he wasn’t open to them at first. He said, “It is what it is. Blood pressure goes up and down there is nothing you can do.”
Several weeks went by and I was on my journey to better health. I had prehypertension following in my Dad’s footsteps but changing my lifestyle to achieve a better outcome. I asked my dad if I could give him a clinical-grade, automated blood pressure monitor that worked and if he would send me the data for analysis. No one thought he could do it consistently. They thought I was crazy. At 78, how could he be successful when he was not technology savvy and struggled with learning. I let him think about it and he agreed on the next phone call.
The blood pressure monitor arrived at his home a week later and I taught him how to use it. It was a little challenging for him to follow best practices (he thought the guidelines didn’t matter) but eventually he embraced proper measurement technique. He consistently sent me the data, and I analyzed it. From the data, we saw that his hypertension was worse in the evening and spiking to dangerous levels. We shared the data with his physician and she changed the timing of the medication over the phone. This was huge. She trusted the data and changed the medication plan from a remote location. This helped lower his blood pressure significantly from the peaks he was seeing.
He thought maybe I was on to something and he should listen more. On future blood pressure spikes, we identified the causes, like too much salt or high stress, and addressed them in his lifestyle. On one occasion, he thought someone had stolen my mom’s identity and his blood pressure spiked dramatically. I saw this in the charts and was able to calm him down over two days. His blood pressure positively responded to his reduced stress state. On future visits to his multiple physicians, they were shocked at his progress. His kidney function had stabilized and his hypertension was improving. He was even more motivated.
As he progressed, he kept asking how he could lower his medication because he was having side effects from the multitude of medications they prescribed him. I recommended again The American Heart Association’s guidelines of better nutrition, exercise and losing weight. When I first recommended this earlier in his journey, he brushed off the suggestions as not important. This time he was reluctant too, so I let him consider it over a few weeks. He had to come to an agreement on his own terms. I did not want to force the issue.
The Huge Breakthrough in Health
Finally, he agreed to implement an exercise routine, improved nutrition and lowering his weight. I created a Google sheets app where he could enter all the data on his own and become self-sufficient. Again, I was told he could never do it. He was technology challenged and had learning disabilities. However, he beat the odds and learned to use the program. I made it as simple as possible. Both he and I could easily see charts and trends simultaneously. I sent him alerts on additional steps he could take to improve his health. Week by week he was losing more weight and his blood pressure was further improved. He went from a size 38 to 34 waist and lost 26 lbs.
He is now taking slightly less medication and maintaining the gains of lower blood pressure. His risk of stroke is down over 66% per Harvard Health estimations. Then one day when I spoke to him on the phone, he stated the swelling in his feet and legs was significantly reduced. Before he implemented better nutrition, exercise and weight loss, the swelling was so bad my mom didn’t know how he could possibly stand. There was so much fluid in his feet and legs that the skin folded over his ankles like a bag full of water. This fluid retention and swelling has now improved 90%. It's night and day difference.
In an ecstatic voice he exclaimed, “I feel great and unless I witnessed the transformation myself, I would never have believed it.”
He also no longer has pain in his surgically repaired hernia. My dad has a new lease on life and my mom couldn’t be more pleased. He is still on his journey, but he has come so far. He is 3 lbs from his weight loss goal. I’m still pushing for more exercise to get his heart healthier, but he’ll do it when he is ready.
Yesterday, I received a phone call from my Aunt. She wanted to learn about the program my dad was on. She said my cousin just got back from my Dad’s salon, and said, “Uncle Pete (my dad) looks great. It’s amazing. You have to see the transformation.”
Yes, my dad still works full time at 79; fifty-three years as an entrepreneur in the US. It’s his passion, and he loves it. He couldn’t imagine doing anything else. As a child, I would always complain the hair itched my neck after he would cut it. He never understood as he states he can roll in hair and it never makes him itchy. Then he cracks a smile with a twinkle in his eye. He still has his sense of humor.
Against all odds, my dad persevered over brain trauma, learning difficulties, ridicule, learning a new language, coming to a new country, learning a new culture, learning new laws, and dealing with a major health crisis. He didn’t let difficulty stand in the way of him pursuing his passions and living a healthy life. He never gave up. He is an inspiration to me and hopefully to you.
I love you, Dad.
What challenges do you need to overcome to pursue your passions? When it gets difficult, just remember my dad. If he can do it, so can you.
