How I’ve Learned to Live with a Nonexistent Working Memory and You Can Too

Bullet journaling, personal journaling, and other tools have helped me remember how to live.

Image by Author; My two notebooks — My everyday bullet journal and my personal journal. In red, of course!

My memory is a sieve — in that, I don’t remember half of my life.

No exaggeration; I know things happened and I remember emotions and feelings but rarely specifics, like what a person said or other details that make the event more memorable.

My therapist and I have had some intriguing conversations about why my brain mocks me like this. Early trauma. My lizard (read: ADD) brain. Fibromyalgia memory fog. All the above.

Unfortunately, having a reason doesn’t matter when I still have to live with the consequences.

What Consequences?

I don’t remember many of the important things that have happened to me. I know they happened and sometimes even have the pictures to prove it, but I don’t always remember anything about them.

• My wedding day.
• The days my boys were born (aside from a few specific moments; and honestly, part of this could be because of being on the ‘good drugs’).
• My graduation.