How the Military Taught Me to Make the Best Out of Every Situation
You too can make the best out of the bad situations you cannot control.
I had to serve 2 years of conscripted military service. I did not have a choice.
I live in the land of “The Crazy Rich Asians” nestled in the southern tip of South East Asia, where boys become men when they turn 18 as they shaved their heads and serve 2 compulsory years in either in the Armed forces, Police force or Civil Defence force. I live in Singapore.
I was conscripted into the army and I absolutely hated it from the get-go. Why? I hated being at the beck and call of someone, I dislike authority, I cringe at having my days planned dead to the details and I absolutely abhorred the idea that I have little to no say over how my life would look like the next 2 years — I was wrong.
The day I enlisted I told myself that I would make the best out of these 2 years because either way, I had to do it. I told myself if I didn’t take away something from it — I would have really wasted 2 years of my youth.
It was then that I learned the first lesson of making the best out of situations that are out of my control — acceptance & control. Accepting that the situation is not within our control, but however — no matter how uncontrollable the situation is, you can always control how you think and your mindset to approaching the situation.
I thought that the 2 years was unnecessary but I didn’t have a choice — so I changed the very thing that could be changed in this situation; my mindset. I made a choice — I chose to make the best out of my 2 years. How? by simply trying my best to grow as a person.
Fast forward to my 2nd month in basic military training, I was fuelled by a new goal — I wanted to be a commander in the forces. Quick change for someone who hated the army right? But not really — I wanted to make the most out of it, remember?
Here’s why — I was treated rather poorly during my basic military training days (in my opinion) and I felt that there were many things that could have been done better to help recruits like myself to make the most of their army days — since for most of the guys, like me, didn’t want to be there. (I would not go into details for the sake of sensitivity)
Sure enough, I got into command school to be trained as a non-commissioned officer and days got by a little easier with slightly more autonomy and freedom given to us as cadets.
However, training got tougher, a lot tougher — as you would expect from leadership school.
I was starting to regret this whole make the best out of the 2 years resolve and it definitely wasn’t just fitness boot camp, it was long 16 to 32 km route marches with 20kg combat load, combat skills training under the blistering hot sun, torturous physical training, long-distance running (it hurts thinking about it) and having to be out in the field for 4 to 7 day a piece without showering, my God.
I wanted to quit. I wanted to give up. I wanted to not make the best out of my 2 years and take the easier way out — I wanted to chao geng (local lingo for malingering). I questioned the pain mentally and physically I was being put through daily and asked myself repeatedly if “making the best out of my 2 years” was worth it.
While on the verge of giving up, I had an epiphany after hearing a preacher say “we have to give our pain a purpose and having a vision for our lives gives the pain we experience a purpose in our lives”
It was one of the many lessons I’ve learned during the 2 years and I believe the most important lesson that I’ve learned in my life — having a vision. I carved out a mental image of the person I wanted to become, mentally resilient, uncrackable under pressure and overall better person, suddenly — I had a purpose for my pain.
Whenever training got really tough or out of my comfort zone, I grit my teeth and tell myself this was making me a better person both mentally and physically. I would begin to embrace the pains from the training and somehow made it through with a simple mindset change. Having the “giving my pain a purpose” mindset worked so well to the point that I was actually enjoying the painful training(s), I even craved for it because I knew that if I was being uncomfortable, I was growing.
Come to the end of my service, I couldn’t believe it — I somehow made it through my 2 years of service with a spotless record, I had little to no days of missed training, I passed all my physical training and combat skills evaluations, I was even awarded several recognition awards and was even promoted to 2nd Sergeant. I made it.
Looking back, the army did make me a better person and I accredit it largely to wanting to make the best out of the situation I was in and giving my pain a purpose. Of course, not forgetting the comrades whom I suffered alongside. Lesson learned — you can always make something good out of every situation, no matter how bad — So what is the bad situation you are in today?
Scorpions! Follow me!
