How the Mindset of Failure Sabotages Your Projects and 3 Simple Ways to Shift It Towards Success
Stop preparing for the worst if you want the best.
“But what if I fail?”
My friend Anja looked worried. We were going for a walk and talking about our plans for the future. She was telling me that she was considering making her passion for music her next big step in life.
The problem was that until then it had been more of a hobby to her. She didn’t think of herself as a musician, nor does anyone in her family have a particular passion for music. Her plan seemed groundless and there was a long list of doubts and risks clouding her mind.
We decided to discuss the worries she had and came up with some alternative options. After all, if it didn’t work, she could just go back and try another thing, right?
But as we were talking, I saw her losing hope more and more. We started to run in circles as the end of the story always was: “All you can do is try and find out.”
Suddenly I noticed that we had spent several hours focusing on the scenarios in which her project didn’t work.
“What if it works? Have you thought about that?”, I asked.
She stopped walking and stared at me for a second with an expression of total surprise. Then she started to grin and said “Nope” and we both burst into laughter.
How Thinking About Failure Sabotages Probability of Success
It doesn’t matter if you want to be a musician, start your own business or leave everything behind and go traveling for some time:
You tend to think about your plans going wrong way more than about a positive outcome. Even if there is no logical reason to assume that the probability of failure is higher.
Of course, it is fine to have backup plans in case something goes wrong. But it’s a whole different story to act (or in this case: not to act) based on assumptions that are still more imagination than reality.
So what exactly happens if you automatically think about failing?
Let’s take a look at four major consequences that have a huge impact on your mindset and, therefore, on the probability of your success:
#1. Bad Decision-Making
Your future depends on the decisions you make today. So you want to make sure your assessment of the probability of different outcomes is as much on point as possible.
However, by assuming negative outcomes you only focus on the things you don’t want and how to counter them. You’re neither taking into consideration the things that could work out nor their consequences. This makes it very hard for you to perform an objective assessment of both, the present and the future.
Moreover, if you immediately start to think about what can go wrong you put fear above reason. This sends you into a negative spiral pretty fast, narrowing down your perspective. Instead of the overall picture, you only see the most negative version out of a wide variety of possible outcomes.
You don’t need me to tell you that this is not a good base for making sound decisions.
#2. Bad Usage of Resources
But focusing on the worst case does not only give you a very limited point of view and sabotages realistic risk-calculation. It also occupies valuable resources that would make a positive outcome more probable. By resources I mean your time, energy, and yes, thoughts.
There is a saying that goes “Where attention goes, energy flows“. And although it might sound a little “spiritual” at first, your attention, the focus of your thoughts, is a powerful tool for achieving your goals, as it determines where your effort is going.
If you focus on planning and preparing for the worst case, the majority of your effort is going into things you don‘t want. In consequence, there aren’t enough resources left to pursue the things you want to have in your life.
In other words: If you’re busy worrying you have no time left to prepare for success. So how can it happen?
#3. Preparing for Failure
By spending your time thinking about scenarios in which you didn’t reach your goal, you’re actively preparing for failure, mentally and emotionally. More than that, by putting all your energy into these thoughts you’re making them a reality.
Where is the difference between you imagining your failure, and you actually failing?
Although it might not be true at this moment, you can already feel the failure. And if you feel it, it’s like you’ve already failed.
Remember when I said that my friend was getting sadder and sadder the longer we talked about other options for her future?
There is no logical difference between you preparing a plan for the case of failure and the case of an alien invasion. They are both not relevant at the present moment, you can’t use them. And nobody knows about the future.
#4. Lack of Motivation
Finally, all the plan Bs and Cs have one very important thing in common: the idea that in the end, you can‘t get the thing you want. Or that at least it is highly unlikely and painfully difficult.
How does that make you feel?
Probably not very motivated and inspired. Yet these are crucial tools for finding ways of getting to your goal. Motivation and inspiration give you the creativity and perseverance you need to work on your project.
On the other side, connecting your goal to negative emotions will cause you to avoid working on your project, as that would mean making these emotions a reality.
How to Shift Your Mindset
I’m lucky to have inspiring friends in my life who encourage me to follow through with my “risky” plans. I participated in coaching programs and worked in a company specialized in self-development. Therefore, I was able to gather quite a toolkit over the years.
Here are some of my favorites I use to keep a clear head:
#1. Break It All Down Into Little Steps
Let’s say your goal is to run your own business. If you think about your goal seeing the final positive outcome (e.g. “Having your own business”), it’s only natural that you will also see the final negative outcome (e.g. “Losing all your money”). But neither of them happens overnight.
Just as the positive outcomes won’t come your way without you doing anything, the negatives will neither. The worst-case scenario you’re imagining is a series of many little things. And they would all have to go wrong to end up in this terrifying situation.
Break down your final goal into little steps and you will see that it’s unlikely that what you’re afraid of will happen at a single blow. And while your final goal might hold many risks, small goals are often risk-free.
You don’t lose all your money because you look up information about starting your own business, do you?
It’s not a high risk to participate in an online course about entrepreneurship, is it?
By setting short-term goals you keep risks low and build towards what you want at the same time.
And yes — there may come a day when all these little steps will have piled up to something you don’t want to lose at any cost. But on the way there you will have gained so much experience. You will know the factors that you can’t know now, and this will allow you to manage risk better.
#2. Transform Your List of Worries Into a List of Inspiration
If you’re now wondering how to break down your goal into little steps, this is the perfect exercise for you.
Write down all your fears and worries. There are no rules here, just write down everything that comes to your mind. After that, pick the first thing on your list and think about solutions on how to tackle it.
For example, your worries might be about not knowing how to do something or not having enough skills to start this project of yours. Turn it around and think about ways to gain this knowledge.
- Are there any online courses?
- Can you make time to watch some videos on YouTube?
- Do you know someone who already has the knowledge and who you could ask?
Or the problem could be that you don’t have enough time/money/etc. to start. In this case think about what you can renounce, how to use your time better, and what other options there are.
- Do you have any unnecessary expenses?
- Can you use your time commuting for learning?
- Where can you get information about forms of financing?
You get the idea: Write down solutions for your worries. And while you won’t need all of them, you will see how you’re capable of finding your way through anything.
And isn’t that an amazing feeling?
#3. Use the Cycle of Action and Empowerment
Action is a very efficient way to break the vicious circle of overthinking and worrying. Choose a little step and make it happen.
Achieving small goals will strengthen the belief in yourself and build up your self-confidence slowly but steadily. This again will make a positive outcome more likely.
Instead of connecting your final goal to emotions like worry, fear, and failure, you’re connecting it to positive emotions of joy, accomplishment, and viability. Every little achievement will help you feel more motivated. It’s like fuel, creating a positive upward spiral, instead of the downward negative spiral we saw before.
Conclusion
When it comes to decisions that involve risk and uncertainty, assuming the worst tends to be a common reaction for us humans. In order to succeed with your projects, it’s crucial to become aware of your thoughts and keep a clear head.
The fear you experience is based on a fantasy that doesn’t have to be a reality. Steer in the opposite direction by focusing on how to overcome obstacles in the short term and find solutions in the long term, taking one step at a time.
And while there will always be obstacles, you won’t fail because of them.
