How to be a Leader Through Chaos
How you treat others defines your leadership style
Everywhere I go, people always say: Sonya knows everybody.
The same was said at every major company at which I’ve worked.
There’s a reason for that: talking to people helps me learn their stories and develop relationships. At work, engaging and connecting with my team is an important part of my leadership style. And I can tell you:
Leading isn’t easy.
I realized early in my career that being in a leadership role does not automatically make you a leader. Real leadership takes grit, empathy, and work. It requires being able to walk a fine line between protecting the people on your team and carrying out what is necessary for the company. You must be able to deftly balance being compassionate and empathetic while making the tough decisions.
High-level jobs often mean being on call 24/7. If you can’t act with compassion and courage when things are good, then you’ll have no chance of leading effectively when disaster strikes.
Years ago, after completing a long and difficult project in the corporate world, I decided to reward myself with a spa trip to Thailand. My trip was for two full weeks and I planned to completely disconnect from the outside world. I turned off my cell phones (yes, plural) to focus on rest and rejuvenation.
At the end of the trip, I couldn’t believe the number of emails and the steady stream of pings and whistles when I turned on my phones.
The shock created by the number of emails waiting for me was quickly overshadowed by something worse: chaos. My company was in serious financial trouble and upon my return, I had to lay of fifty percent of my staff. The mandate was to keep “mission critical” personnel only.
Leading through chaos can be daunting.
Now, I wasn’t a stranger to terminating someone who wasn’t doing their job well, but I had never been faced with letting people go who worked hard and were good at their jobs.
Preparing for the layoffs created an existential crisis for me. I knew how layoffs worked. After “separation,” people were immediately walked off the property, with a single box of their possessions as the only proof of the job they had only minutes earlier lost.
The thought of doing this to someone I spent every day with felt foreign for me. It made me physically ill. The only thing that remained constant leading up to the layoffs were my nightly tears.
At my core, I got it. I took the “big” job, so I had to be a “big” girl. When you agree to play in the sandbox, you follow the rules of said sandbox.
I had team members who had just purchased their first homes or who were starting families. I thought about how, if the tables were turned, I would want to be treated.
So, I had to find a way to accomplish what was required in a way that aligned with my values. I decided to approach the layoffs in a compassionate, humane way.
As you can imagine, there were many disagreements at pay grades higher than mine. But I would not allow the noise to change my approach. I told every person I laid off that they were valued and that their work had made an important contribution to the company. I allowed my former teammates to send messages to their contacts advising of their separation, and provided recommendation letters and references.
After the final layoff, I sat in my office and cried. Everyone who had survived the layoffs saw my reaction and a senior-level colleague congratulated me for doing what needed to be done.
I could not contain my emotions and I was comfortable with the vulnerability the situation caused.
In the midst of it all, I realized the only way I could lead was with compassion.
When leading in chaos, you have to be nimble and decisive. But, when all is said and done, it’s always about how you treat people. People will forget what you said and they may forget what you did, but they will always remember how you made them feel.
