How to change your life in a heartbeat
I have a confession to make, it’s been 10 days since I wrote anything. 240 hours. 14,400 minutes. 864,000 seconds of time devoid of putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard!). Actually, that’s not entirely true. I do write a short piece in a journal every day. But that’s just my musings. A place to splurge vitriolic allegories about people and things that have violated my hurty bone. A place to write about positive stuff too, my goals and aspirations. It’s for me, myself and I.
Anyway, I digress…..10 days of writing-free purgatory! And why do I tell you this I hear you ask? Well, because I feel bad. My personality, my ego, my conscience, they all contrive against me to make me feel bad. They say that I should have written something days ago, something that’s Booker Prize worthy. They say that my adoring fans are waiting at home, on tenterhooks, watching the clock while sipping tea nervously from a mug. Every second lasting an eternity, the poor blighters.
They say that I have no staying power, no consistency. They say I cant, I shouldn’t, I should, I won’t, I ought to, I ought not to. They say downright mean and horrible things.
See, that’s who I am. I can be a right arsehole to myself sometimes. I am my own worst enemy. Nobody can torture and punish me, better than me. I’m a pro. Somewhere my brain malfunctions. Somewhere there is a hard wire that goes straight to guilt, self-sabotage and self-chastisement. It could be a childhood thing. But everything seems to stem from a childhood thing these days. I’m not a big believer in that stuff. I believe that we can be who we want to be at any given moment IF we want it enough. So why then, am I a Grade A twat to myself a good 75% of the time?
“Every human has four endowments — self-awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom… The power to choose, to respond, to change.” Stephen Covey
Well, I’m not sure I will ever be able to answer that. I am not sure I need to either. I know I was no saint growing up, so that might have something to do with it. Guilt from deeds past, trying to make up for time and be better than I was. That probably sounds more intriguing than it is; I never ended up in jail and I never hurt anyone, but I was no saint, not by a long chalk. Whatever, some things we don’t need to analyse too much.
That said, I think I may have a plan to reduce the time I am an arsehole to myself. Maybe 50/50, or 40/60 on a good day. It’s simple.
I’m lucky enough in my day job to have the opportunity to try and help people that are going through very tough times in their lives. This can be very difficult, hard work even. Yet, at times, very rewarding and inspirational. I am there to help these people. To listen, to care, to try and make a difference in their lives. But 9 times out of 10, they usually end up having more of an impact on me.
Such an impact happened last week. This person had all the reasons required to feel down, angry and depressed. To feel like life had dumped on them from a great height and smeared it with a big stick covered in cow shit. They had every right to feel at the very bottom of the pit of despair.
But they weren’t. They were grateful for the life they had experienced, for the family they had, for all they had seen, felt, touched, tasted and heard. They were happy about the lot fate had given them. They were courteous, thankful, happy even. They were (and continue to be) an inspiration.
A persons life can change in a heartbeat and if we aren’t careful, if we aren’t listening, we will miss these moments. They give us perspective, they tell us that our piddly problems are just that, piddly. They give us direction, a way to go, a goal to aim for. These priceless momentous moments.
I don’t know if it’s the Universe, God, a Higher Power, The Great Spirit, Allah, Buddha, Shiva, or The Great A’tuin working through these moments. But they come from a place that can’t be measured. They are sent to us to help. To send us a message, to get us out of ourselves and into the moment. To get us on the track that we should be on.
These moments happen through the words or actions of others. Through events, through letters, through random invitations. These moments happen all the time. The problem is that we don’t notice them.
The message that the Universe sent me, through that kind and courageous person, I heard it. Thankfully I was listening. It told me to stop being so self-centred. Be grateful for everything I have. To not be so hard on myself, to be proud of myself sometimes, to respect myself. Instead of being my own worst enemy, its time to be my own best friend.
“Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world.” John Milton
And it’s simple really, all we must do is be in the moment, to listen carefully, to expect these moments, these messages at any time and in any place. And act on them, they might just change our lives.
