How To Feel Better When Someone Criticizes You

The other day, one of my Medium idols criticized me on LinkedIn.

I actually wanted this person to come on my virtual summit, but unfortunately they didn’t show up for a scheduled interview (twice).

It’s okay, there’s no love lost.

What did they have to say to me?

Well, this:

“Okay, but making money by blogging about how to make money by blogging is super close to being a pyramid scheme.”

It’s honestly a fair point — sorta.

It made me feel really bad for a while — it still does, which is why I’m writing this article.

I mean, damn, I’m making a livelihood doing this. It’s basically all I am..

But was it actually a fair point? Should I feel bad about creating an online course that teaches people how to build a following on Medium?

How do I figure out when someone’s criticism is actually warranted, and when it’s not?

Let’s dive into it..

Is What You’re Doing Helping People?

Technically, here’s the definition of a pyramid scheme:

A form of investment (illegal in the US and elsewhere) in which each paying participant recruits two further participants, with returns being given to early participants using money contributed by later ones.

I don’t even think my critic knows what a pyramid scheme actually is?

Anyway..

Ask yourself whether what you’re doing is helping people.

If it is, close the case right there.

Don’t give it another moment’s thought.

Humans get to live on this planet for 75+ years if they’re lucky. If you’re helping people, start spending more time doing that instead of worrying about the opinions of other people.

You’re doing just fine in my book if you’re providing value, and based on the feedback from my students, I’m not having the slightest problem doing that.

Do They Normally Criticize?

On Medium, we have the wonderful opportunity to see every user’s responses, stories, and claps.

Because of this, we can see if writers are no strangers to raining on parades.

95 percent of the time, negative responses are written by negative people.

I still have 2–3 readers that like to comment on articles of mine every week to present a Debbie Downer perspective to everything.

I mean, yeah, you can DEFINITELY look at things like that..but why?

In the end, these people do one thing and one thing only on Medium:

Spread negativity.

They spread it in their responses, their stories, and they even seek out other negative articles to clap for.

The person that criticized me? They’ve built up a personal brand of being the anti-everything. They zig while everybody else is zagging. They write about what’s not being said, and normally drop a lot of f-bombs while doing so.

The contrarian is probably the best way to describe them.

I immediately disregard the comments of historically negative people because they’re not trying to help you — they’re trying to spread negativity.

Spreading negativity feels good. For some reason it just does.

I totally get it. It feels good to “speak the truth” and “tell it like it is.” Our President was elected in part because of this quality.

But many times people get so caught up in the thrill of being a contrarian that they get addicted — and addiction clouds your judgement, period.

And I don’t give credence to the opinions of others who have cloudy judgement.

They’re Not Wrong, But They’re Not Right

In my experience, people that criticize aren’t wrong —but they’re not right either.

Human beings bring a lot of things with them when they go to read an article. They bring their assumptions, world views, and perspectives with them.

Because of this, cynics see a lot of what others don’t see, but in the end they’re sacrificing one eye to see it. This eye could’ve seen the other side — the brighter side — the side that’s closer to reality.

But they didn’t, and that’s when you need to part ways with criticism.

Life sucks. It can make a cynic of anyone at any time, and many times cynics want to use their newfound enlightenment to bring others down to the same level as them.

Don’t allow it.

Some Parting Advice On Criticism

In the end you don’t get attacked if you didn’t strike a chord with someone.

I mean, damn, I got a massive Medium writer to comment on the post of a writer that’s MUCH smaller than him (me).

It’s pretty cool, I guess. What I wrote must’ve really bugged him.

I guess I just need to remember this quote..

“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”

-Mahatma Gandhi

I’m now past the ignorance stage. I guess that means I’m headed in the right direction, and that’s why I’m not going to feel bad about criticism any longer.