How to Turn WhatsApp into the Ultimate Affirmation Tool
For now — and way after lockdown ends.
Retreats (limited, expensive, no longer safe!), meditation (time management blips), journaling (can’t find the notebook)… everything found a barrier or an ending. I tried so hard to improve myself since I decided to self-isolate fairly early on and needed it to be more effortless.
Each day I had no excuse but to improve my self-development game yet would find myself slumping, reaching for my phone, and contacting Lulu — who was experiencing intense early lockdown in Dubai — for a quick message exchange.
It was a cycle most millennials know: dashing words and emoji onto the screen, one tick, two tick, blue two, glancing for a reply. Getting back a series of responses in agreement, with similar gripes: about living in the spaces we were now stuck in, and about each day going by without having done enough.
About anything that fleeted through our minds.
Until two weeks ago when I lay awake, blue light infiltrating my corneas, staring at our message history. Scrolling up and up and up recent days’ conversations — I was horrified at what had been festering.
Our chat had become an echo chamber of helplessness.
Lulu, a linguistics expert, agreed. We wanted to change this. We wondered how to instead type honourably, place value intents we shared, and hold conversations with one another as if they were art. The geeks in us had kicked in.
We delved into every podcast, blog site and autobiography we held with high regard, to see what might help us craft a better text relationship.
We got more than we bargained for: we transformed our three best-loved findings on affirmations into a chat simply named ‘Three Things’.
Three Things is our easy, accessible, pro-social, pro-distancing ritual for self-improvement. And we’re ready to share it with you.
How to Practice ‘Three Things’
Each morning, you and a friend complete the following sentences and send them — by text or voice note — to each other.
- I am grateful for…
- I am proud of…
- I am excited about…
It’s important to send these by phone for a couple of reasons. First, because that’s the device most likely to be within your immediate reach no matter what. And second, because we want the tech part of your morning routine to switch — from something which is likely to be morbid world news or Instagram scrolling — to a simple, self-induced boost.
Each is explained in more detail, below.
“I am grateful for…”
Completing this sentence places us in the appreciative present, focusing on what we have rather than lack. Gratitude has been widely studied and has been shown to have positive effects on happiness and wellbeing.
Your daily choice could be small or big. For example, “I am grateful for a sunny day,” “I can feel the simple warmth it brings when I’m alone,” or “I am grateful to be healing from my sickness.”
“I am proud of…”
No, we aren’t promoting a full-blown ego-centric deadly sin, but the value in affirming self-respect. Lulu and I particularly love it since our heritage is from a place where being born female can literally and metaphorically be considered a battle cry. And this enables your words to be a warm hug in a safe space, which we rarely felt was possible before.
You could highlight an achievement or a choice you made. For example, “I am proud of doing a great home workout again,” or “I am proud I gave my all to that Skype interview.”
“I am excited about…”
There’s something magical about ending a conversation eager about something. What’s more, it trains you to talk in a positive and optimistic way about yourself and your experiences (your life!).
Share anything that stimulates you on the given morning. For example, “I am excited about trying the new coffee I got,” “it’s my well-deserved treat,” or “I am excited about catching up with my siblings over Zoom today, we speak more than ever now!”
A Few Final Tips:
- Choose your partner well — I knew could be open with Lulu (she and I agreed it’s not a place to judge one another) and trust her (some of what’s shared might be sensitive). If you’re not sure who to decide on, experiment with different friends, that is to trial different people until it feels right
- Select your app according to your needs — we ended up switching to Signal quickly because security is higher rated, and the 1-day disappearing message setting automatically declutters the chat and our minds for the next morning
- Feel your Three Things — if you share authentically, it comes from a place of life within you. And in turn, you become authentic with the words you choose in other conversations
- Persevere — any new practice takes time to perfect, but always try to send your Three Things in the mornings. We found it’s much more effective than any other time as it sets a positive tone for the rest of the day
Our results: we haven’t missed a single day in affirming our Three Things since starting. We approach each new lockdown day with more intent. And our friendship has hit a whole new level of ‘wow’.
Try it. We hope with Three Things you find your — and a friend’s — life improves over this period and beyond.
