How to Understand the Dynamics of Relationships and Improve the Way You Communicate with Others

Holly Hartley
Ascent Publication
Published in
13 min readJul 23, 2020

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I’d not seen her for twenty-five years.

And then suddenly, out of nowhere, I bumped into her in a supermarket.

I’d never really understood why we lost touch. She was one of my best friends.

So, when that chance meeting happened, we were both amazed and delighted. It all came flooding back — the familiar jokes, her wonky dimples and those stupid voices we used.

We quickly exchanged numbers and agreed to meet up. A couple of weeks later, I went to her house and had a cup of tea in her lounge.

And that’s where it all went wrong.

I cracked a joke, an old one we used to share as kids. She didn’t find it funny.

In a heartbeat, the atmosphere changed. Comforting warmth turned to an icy chill. She didn’t want me there anymore.

We concluded things as quickly and politely as we could. It was stilted and awkward.

I left.

We never messaged again.

It upset me for weeks. I couldn’t understand what I’d done wrong.

When Communication Breaks Down

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Holly Hartley
Ascent Publication

Coach | Educationalist | Gen X Career Changer | Unshakable Optimist | Has Big Heart | Personal Development Obsessive | Founder of www.rediscoveryofme.com