It’s been a strange day today.
At first, it was totally awesome. Great day, very sunny, I meditate, read and felt happy.
But at the time I write this, I feel lost and overwhelmed.
I met people because I wanted to improve my social skill, inspire and help them.
But right now, most of them became toxic and put me in a bad mood that I’m trying to understand and acknowledge by writing this article.
I try so hard to make it work. I want to make it great, positive. But even if that I end up living a bad and sad situation.
Love, friendship, distance.
Feelings and relationships don’t depend on one person. That’s why it’s difficult.
Relationship is destroying my brain right now.
I want to follow my dreams and work on projects I like but it feels like I do nothing at all.
In September 2017, I wanted to start a Instagram page with motivational quotes that I was creating by myself. Right Here
But after 6 months of work. Where I was posting everyday, responding to everybody. The result wasn’t there.
I tried my best but all the bad repost and bad resolution accounts with their “Don’t sleep until you make it” with big butt on the background seems to be liked by the world.
I’ve also worked on many ideas. But maybe that I wasn’t good enough or I don’t know what.
It didn’t work.
I am trying to create businesses that make money but I am not focus enough on the “make money” part which make it useless.
I want to do what I love and follow my feelings, but there are big consequences.
I will stop going to school, but my classmates were nice and are a bit sad that I leave.
I am going to be alone again, and I will have to push myself to find new ways to be social.
I will go to Taiwan in May but I am so scared to fail or to get lost or to have a bad experience.
September 2018 is going to be the moment where I will go to Singapore to perfect my english. It’s going to be my first experience like this, it involved a lot of money and I don’t even know if I am going to like it.
I know everybody has this kind of problem, and it’s a bit selfish to write an article about that.
But I needed it.
There is so much pressure, so many questions and actions.
It’s certainly because I am very early in the process. Maybe I don’t have enough experience to handle it correctly.
Few people are going to read this article. But this kind of period where you feel the same feeling as me are going to happen to you (or already happened if you are older).
This is the price of handling your life and fighting hard for your passion. (I hope so, otherwise I’m on the wrong path!)
But I force myself to think that it’s going to get better.
It is so so difficult. But I don’t give up, I evolve.