I gave myself permission…what a relief!

This is therapy. Writing is therapy. Talking is therapy. Ranting is therapy, and in the last few months, I have needed all the damn therapy I can get. Life has a tendency to be a bitch sometimes and recently I’ve been enduring a tough time.

My character and professionalism have been brought into question. They have been scrutinised, dissected and judged upon (kind of harshly IMHO) by others in a position to throw stones.

These judgements and allegations sting, they cut down to the soul, they persecute the ego. And the reason is that they are not a true reflection of who I believe I am. They don’t fit with my self-image. And this leaves me angry.

I am angry, I am resentful and yes I am completely pissed off by it all. And that’s OK. I’m OK with that. It’s OK to feel this way. In fact, it’s good to feel this way.

Yes, I know the self-help advice would be to think positive, find gratitude, learn the lessons from the experience and Zen the shit out of the situation.

Hell, that’s been my own advice in previous posts. But there are situations when feeling negative emotions and expressing those emotions is a very good thing. And that’s because it’s therapy.

Finding the lessons, the gratitude and the positives from any situation is a very good practice to have. But sometimes it doesn’t delete the abject pissed-off-ness from the soul.

We have to let the steam out, we have to reduce the pressure build up. Feelings have cunning ways of releasing themselves. Whether that’s by you feeling them and expressing them or by them escaping all by themselves. Like a Colditz prisoner in the night, they escape and cause havoc in the local area.

In situations that have rocked us to our foundations, we are allowed to feel hurt, we are allowed to feel ‘hard done by’, we are allowed to be angry and we are allowed to feel resentful. Nay (always wanted to use that word in a post), I say we MUST allow ourselves to feel all the crap we need to feel.

Only by allowing ourselves to feel these powerful emotions can we hope to let go of them. We have to give ourselves permission to have a shit day. Permission to forget the advice of self-help gurus. Permission to be pissed off, be hurt, be f*cking angry. Permission to say f*ck it and f*ck you. Its all part of life, part of living, part of being human.

So be kind to yourself, allow yourself to feel the crap, pick yourself back up after and carry on crushing it when you’re God damn good and ready to. That’s what I plan on doing.

Writing this is therapy, it’s helped me and I hope its helped you.

Now piss-off and let me sit on my pity pot!