I Think I’m Done With New York

For real this time.

An aerial view of all the things that actual New Yorkers never get to enjoy — by Andre Benz on Unsplash

I was born and raised in New York. I grew up in Queens, and eventually migrated to Brooklyn, where I live in an apartment that is smaller than most people’s living rooms but costs twice as much as their mortgages.

For the longest time, I couldn’t imaging living anywhere else.

I went to college 30 minutes north of here and was troubled by the fact that the bodegas (are they even called that outside of the city?) closed around 5:00 PM and weren’t open on the weekends. How can you close down an entire store on a weekend? What do you mean you’re not open tomorrow?

I considered moving outside of the city on countless occasions, but talked myself out of it every single time.

For each place I subconsciously rejected, I cited a broad spectrum of reasons, ranging from understandable to stereotypical to absurd:

• not enough people
• not enough jobs
• smog
• viral videos of the local inhabitants criticizing people for speaking Spanish
• people like Permit Patty and Coupon Carl
• same price as New York, but it’s not New York, so no point
• weird laws
• homes are too cheap; it must be…