I’m Both Happy And Sad
An important reminder that feelings are not mutually exclusive.
A year ago, my Dad died rather tragically. Losing him made me really, really sad. I’m still very sad. And I don’t think there will ever be a day in my life where I won’t be sad about him not being here anymore. For me, every day is just one in which he’s missing.
But being sad doesn’t mean I’m not happy.
Some people see my sadness and instantly conclude I’m depressed, stuck, or letting this “ruin” me. They implore me to be happy, move on, and let it go. They kindly advise me to be selective in whom I speak to about my grief, out of fear that I’ll get my sad all over everyone – as though pain is a contagion and addressing it offers a fertile breeding ground.
Others see my joy and forget that I’m sad, they don’t realize I’m still grieving his death. They act as though it shouldn’t be looping around in my head on repeat. As though it’s strange to keep falling into the hole he left in his wake. They’re surprised to learn I’m still missing him, I’m still grappling with his loss, and I’m still pretty upset about it.
And so my ample frustration is the impetus for this article. Maybe this will help you to understand grief, or life, a little better. Perhaps it’ll help you support a friend in need. And…
