In an Abusive Relationship, There Are Not Two Sides to the Story
Though it actually does take two to tango…
I used to be a professional ballroom dancer, teacher, and choreographer. My oldest son was a competitive ballroom dancer for over a decade and won the U.S. National title…twice.
Because of our combined dancing experience, I can unequivocally state that, yes, it does take two to tango.
How this morphed into a phrase that is equivocal to “he said/she said” I’ll never know. In this scenario, any relationship is presumed to be like a tango, thus it takes two to make things go right (and now I’ll be singing that song for the rest of the day). When things go wrong, however, the presumption continues that blame is divvied up equally between both parties since — just like a tango — any accomplishment is dependent on each party contributing their fair share.
When it comes to an abusive relationship, however, there are no two sides to the story. There is only the truth. There is an abuser and there is a victim of that abuser. The abuser possesses and wields control over a victim in the effort to enable his abuse to continue. A victim is powerless (or believes herself to be) and exists in a place of darkness where walking on eggshells and living in a state of heightened fear and dread becomes the…
