Is Done Really Better Than Perfect?
Chasing perfection, and combatting it
In my previous workplace, there was a large wall in the kitchen area, with a saying printed in colorful and bold letters:
Done is better than perfect.
I’ll be honest, when I first saw it, it took me by surprise. I had to read it multiple times to ensure I hadn’t misread it. I wanted it to be a mistake.
Why?
Well, I grew up with the mindset of never settling for anything less than ideal. It wasn’t a surprise to anyone then, when I decided to pursue Engineering — what better field to teach building solutions to your own problems. So, five years later, staring at the wall, the saying seemed to challenge everything that I had practiced and learned all my life — never settle for a less-than-perfect system. Build the perfect system!
At the time, I let it go, hoping I hadn’t made a wrong decision choosing a company whose values didn’t align with mine.
Over the next few months, I saw the wall every day during lunch. And each time I saw it, it challenged me. It made me question my beliefs. So I began reflecting on my previous behaviors and their results, trying to figure out if I had been blinded by the bright, shiny light of perfection.
Sure enough, patterns started to emerge. I started seeing how consumed I was with the concept, and how it had been manifesting all this time.
Here are some that I could articulate.
Projects that never finished
This was, by far, the biggest challenge I faced. I noticed how many projects I had started in the past five years, and how few actually saw through completion. And sure enough, a majority of those were plagued with the same issue — somewhere during the project, I had gotten stuck at a minor detail, and decided to fall into the spiral of endless improvement, only to lose all interest and eventually give up. As I write this, I have 17 unpublished posts sitting as drafts (the cycle of perfection); a part of me hopes this one doesn’t make it 18.
Relationships took a toll
If there is one place you should really avoid bringing the perfectionist approach, it’s with your relationships (whether romantic or platonic). A relationship is like a seed — it requires a lot of effort, nurturing and the right conditions to see itself become a fruitful tree. Looking back, I discarded quite a few of those seeds, just because I didn’t see a tree at the time. Things would have been different, had I communicated my expectations, allowed for some imperfections, and let time do its magic.
Stuck to a comfort zone
I was so fearful of new experiences not being good enough, that I never wanted to venture beyond my comfort zone. I was comfortable missing out on new cuisines and restaurants, doing new activities with friends, and even exploring different parts of the town. Why would I ruin a perfect experience that I know and love, for a possibly poor one? And so I kept to my perfect little zone — unaware of all the new experiences that I was missing.
Quick to judge
Not only did I find myself setting ridiculously high expectations for myself, I was also very quick to critique, find flaws, and dismiss others’ work for not meeting my unrealistic standards. There was no scope for improvements or subjectivity; instead of learning from everyone’s work, I quietly judged from the comfort of my space. It just wasn’t a healthy mind-space to be in.
So how did I go about resolving these?
Once I came to acceptance with these facts, it became a no-brainer that they needed to be fixed. It was easier said than done though — how could you take a trait that is so deeply ingrained in your personality and replace it?
It took a long time, a hell lot of observation, and constant self-awareness to bring improvement. Here’s how I combatted it.
1. Came to terms with the idea of perfection
Understanding why the concept of perfection is flawed was the first step to resolving it.
Firstly, perfection assumes a single solution — it is the tip of the mountain, a single point, beyond which there is no more. But it is more like infinity — just a concept, and nothing tangible. Perfecting an art is like deciding to count till infinity — it never stops. I understood that if I kept perfection as my standard, I would never finish.
Secondly, it ignores the importance of context and relativity. What appears perfect to me, may appear imperfect to someone else. In fact, what appeared perfect to me yesterday, doesn’t appear perfect to me today. So why should I treat today’s perfection as the north star for tomorrow?
I understood that perfection is subjective, and I did not want to chase subjectivity.
2. Kept a timeline, worked backward
The idea of delivering the perfect product made me work endlessly, refining every iteration over and over again. Learning from the personal failure of never-ending projects, I decided that I had to keep a timeline to put an end to the endless cycle of improvement.
The first few times, I struggled hard. I found that my projects were incomplete by the end of the timeline. I had been getting lost in minor details, and spending way too much time refining, ending up with a sub-par and unfinished product. It made me uncomfortable, it made me hate myself.
With practice, however, I learned how to work backward from the timeline. Knowing what I had to finish tomorrow, put me in a better place to work today, and kept me level-headed when the cravings to perfect struck.
The quality of my finished projects today might not meet the perfectionist standards anymore, but at least I deliver them. And I will take a decently finished product over one perfect-product-in-the-works, any day.
3. Set small and realistic goals
It was so natural for me to want to build the tallest, prettiest tower, that I often lost all sense of reality. I wanted my tower to have the prettiest windows, the best entrance, the cleanest architecture… and so on. Soon, it’d become too much to handle, and the whole thing would fall apart.
Understanding that great things are built over time, and focusing on one block at a time allowed me to work on and accomplish long-term goals. I learned how to set goals. Turns out, there are umpteen articles out there talking just about this, a popular one being — keeping your goals SMART:
- S(pecific)
- M(easurable)
- A(chievable)
- R(ealistic)
- T(imely)
4. Iterated, but with continuous delivery and feedback
Iteration is a lovely tool to refine. It takes away the pressure to deliver the best on the first try, and instead allows focusing on learning and steadily improving.
I used it all the time, refining each iteration, getting closer to my perfectionist standards. What I didn’t do, however, was test each iteration, get feedback, and implement it in my next iteration. Expectations change over time; by iterating and delivering in pieces, I could have gotten a better judgment of the expectations and changed course in time, instead of making assumptions and realizing when it was too late to adapt.
Continuous delivery also comes with a strong emotional feeling of accomplishment. With larger projects, especially, these small bursts of accomplishments can provide the motivational boost to keep going. It becomes a positive-feedback loop!
5. Failed (and let others fail)
This one sounds counterintuitive, but hear me out. I realized that my need to perfect was often arising from the fear of failure. Combined with the high expectations, attempting any task felt like climbing up an infinitely tall and steep hill, having had no experience falling. If I failed in such a situation, I’d fall so hard that I’d never want to climb again.
What I needed, therefore, was to get comfortable with the idea of failure. I started with smaller, everyday tasks, and imagined myself failing — what it’d be like if I didn’t succeed, what would the consequences be, etc. When I actually didn’t end up succeeding, the fall didn’t feel as bad and I felt prepared for it. I understood that failing wasn’t the end of the world.
As I got familiar with the concept, my brain started to treat failure not as some horrible consequence, but just as one of the many possible results. There were lessons to be learned from failed experiences, that I would’ve never found had I not attempted at all!
Similarly, I loosened up on my judgments about other people. Leaving room for failure allowed for more exploration and experimentation in my relationships. There was room for communication, iteration, and improvement; eventually leading to deeper friendships.
What’s in it for you?
I’m sure I’m not alone in the want to chase perfection. If you find yourself in a similar situation, first, understand that it is OK. Truth is, we are all somewhere on the scale of perfectionism — some less, some more; it’s NOT binary.
Know that changing habits is hard. Begin by being conscious about your behaviors, and following it by taking actions. Start with smaller tasks. Don’t try to apply all the principles at once. And definitely don’t expect to let go of this trait in a day — that’s asking for perfection too, right? As you get better managing your everyday tasks, scale it up to medium and then long-term goals.
Good luck!
