It’s Never Too Early for Total Reinvention
If you’re feeling stuck in a rut and that life is passing you by, you’re probably right.
It’s so easy to get caught in the daily grind and lose track of time. The days blur into weeks, which turn into months, and before you know it you’ve started your holiday shopping for yet another year.
Some days it feels like you blink and you’re already headed back to bed, and others drag on with their mind-numbing monotony. Getting caught up in the day to day, trying to build a career, maintain a social life, and keep food on the table can be exhausting.
Regardless of what age you are or stage of life you find yourself in, it’s easy to get stuck in a rut that’s been worn deep by your daily routine.
The good news is that it’s never too early or too soon to make small changes, or if you’re inclined, to completely overhaul to your circumstances to pursue a life that makes you happy.
While some may wait to have a mid-life crisis before making significant changes, you don’t have to be held back by this kind of black and white thinking.
In fact, it works significantly to your advantage to evaluate who you are, what you’re doing and the direction you’re headed long before you find yourself in a crisis. By making changes now instead of waiting for total collapse, you can enjoy the time you have with greater certainty and ease.
Speaking from my own experience over the last six months, it took losing my job for me to wake up and realize that at the age of 33 I was already feeling completely washed up and without a real, clear direction.
I’d resigned myself to a life where I was going through the motions but was never really present.
Instead, I’d fallen into headfirst into a victim mentality. I’ve been battling chronic illness for the last five years and it’s taken its toll. It leaves me constantly feeling tired, trying to manage pain daily and it can complicate my plans at any moment.
Add to this the stress of working at a job I loathed, and trying to balance being a working mom to a busy five-year-old, I assumed that this was as good as it would get.
Thankfully the universe intervened, kicked my ass out the door, and into the world of self-employment and entrepreneurship. While it was doing that, it also became abundantly clear that it wanted me to completely reinvent myself.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned on this journey its that when the universe intervenes, you’d better not have any intention of standing in its way because change is coming whether you like it or not.
Changing My Mind
The loss of my job was a huge blessing in disguise. After the initial shock and uncertainty wore off, I was happier than I’d been in months.
My boss was a micromanager and a control freak that made getting any work done next to impossible. Despite being in a director-level position I had to ask permission to do anything, including booking a meeting in my boss’s calendar.
The environment was toxic and I was desperate to leave, but I was comfortable with supposed job security I thought I had and the consistency of a regular paycheck.
From a mindset perspective, I was completely stuck. I didn’t view full-time self-employment as an option until I had more experience under my belt despite having run a successful side hustle over the last three years.
Finding myself at home and in need of work, I decided to build my business and pursue a lifelong dream of being a writer.
Along the way, I’ve made some significant shifts in my mindset that have served as the foundation for my reinvention.
The most important lesson from this process is that you never have to listen to anyone or anything outside of yourself when it comes to deciding what is and isn’t possible.
The minute you fall into this line of thinking you’ve lost your power.
Every career decision I’ve made up until May of 2019 has been based on conventional wisdom and going for whatever seemed like a sure bet. This has meant years chasing things that have never made me happy — but I assumed I had to do them to be a successful working mother.
I’ve moved from having a fixed mindset to one that’s open and flexible. Black and white thinking has started to become a thing of the past. I’m open, ready and looking for opportunities but I’m not sitting here passively waiting for them to find me.
Every day I try and orient myself towards a bias for action while being mindful of my need for downtime. I’ve pushed the limits I’d placed on what’s possible, tried manifesting (and it really does work!), and now regularly dedicate time to self-improvement because I’ve witnessed first hand just how powerful your mindset can be.
I’ve become a dedicated mindfulness practitioner and spend time meditating each day. I also have a gratitude journal that has become an essential part of my daily routine and find that regularly expressing gratitude is critical for my mental well-being.
Henry Ford said something to the effect of, “Whether you think you can or you can’t you’re probably right.” In my experience he couldn’t be more accurate — 90% of the game is entirely mental and this knowledge pushes me to show up in life very differently than before.
Respecting My Body
In addition to my chronic illness, I’ve also lived with anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember and battled an eating disorder on and off for two decades.
This is a lot for someone who isn’t yet 35 years old and I let it shape my entire outlook on life — my health dictated what I thought I could accomplish. In a lot of circumstances, this was and continues to be entirely necessary because I do have limitations that can’t just be pushed through if only I try a little harder.
With that said, I used my illness as a way to escape from taking responsibility for my body. Being on a concoction of different medications, all with weight gain being a side effect because of their effects on metabolism, I used this as an excuse to eat my feelings.
My weight ballooned and my mental health plummeted as I was convinced that I was stuck in a body that could only function at limited capacity.
That was until I discovered a customized nutrition plan that gave me the exact foods and portion sizes that I should be eating to help balance my blood sugar. Working closely with a nutritionist I rapidly lost 25 pounds and continue to watch with amazement as my body changes shape.
I also bought a FitBit and a spin bike and now that regular exercise has been reincorporated into my routine I feel like a completely different person.
I get out for a daily walk and feed myself what my body actually needs to function. My emotional eating and disorder eating behaviors have become a lot more manageable — especially as I apply tools that I’ve learned from my mindfulness practice.
By respecting my body and honoring its needs my chronic pain has virtually disappeared. Thanks to my nutrition plan I’ve eliminated the inflammation that was the root cause of my pain and regular exercise has taken care of the rest.
When you’re sick and uncomfortable it’s easy to give up and throw in the towel. Without major overhauls to my lifestyle including both my diet and exercise routine, I doubt that I’d be sitting here and writing this but that’s not what’s most important.
The bottom line is that you can’t give up — you can’t leave your health and body to chance. Keep asking questions and looking for information about what could make you better, faster or stronger.
Reinventing your body doesn’t have to mean that you become an ultra-marathoner than only eats kale and quinoa. All that it requires is that you care enough to listen when it’s speaking to you.
Finding My Spirit
For a long time, I’ve known that my spiritual life has been lacking and this absence of a centering, guiding ethos had become noticeable.
It showed up in ways that were unexpected like changes to my values and behavior that weren’t in line with my perceptions of myself.
Growing up in an Evangelical home, I’d spent most of my 20s trying to undo the damage of a life lived with guilt and condemnation of my thoughts and behaviors. I never felt good enough regardless of whatever eternal promise of wholeness was thrown my way.
Given my history, a spiritual practice that I could call my own wasn’t a priority until all the other pieces of my life came into focus.
It was at this time that I started my meditation practice and became interested in the teachings of the Buddhist tradition. The long-held universal truths that weave themselves through mindfulness practices were life-changing when I began to apply them to my experience.
Through my work, I’d also been exposed to the spiritual practices of local First Nations Indigenous groups and had attended multiple smudge ceremonies. I’d also been fortunate enough to have sat with various local elders and to learn more about their way of life that they were working so hard to restore.
I also started following the moon cycles and started paying more attention to my intentions. Manifesting became a part of my vocabulary and I even went as far as to buy myself crystal jewelry. If you were to ask my mother she’d likely burst into tears and call me a witch.
Now for someone who is entirely rational and logically focused, this kind of spiritual awakening or reinvention caught me totally off guard. I didn’t appreciate the deep need I had for connecting with something bigger than myself.
My spiritual practices are uniquely my own, and that’s what makes them beautiful and infused with meaning. I’m not following a prescribed dogma that leaves me feeling damaged and broken any longer. They’ve given me an appreciation for my values and what it means to live with purpose and vision.
Our spirits are often neglected the most because they’re in a realm that’s beyond what we can physically touch, feel and hear. Don’t let your life pass you by without exploring the possibility of there being something profound that exists just beyond our physical senses.
Reinvention is a process that takes time and often needs a cataclysmic shift in your circumstances to push you towards taking action. With a focus on my life from a holistic perspective that includes my mind, body, and spirit, I’ve been able to carve out a new identity that is starting to feel more and more authentic. I’ve been able to align myself with what I really value in life and slowly start to turn off the voices telling me that I’m not good enough — that I shouldn’t even try. Embrace the opportunity to change your life before you find yourself in the middle of a crisis — you’ll thank yourself now and in the future.
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