“Just Hang in There” and Other Classic but Still Useful Advice
I throwback to a few resilient old-timers.
It’s become kind of a trend to shit on common advice. It’s fashionable to offer your hot take on why you shouldn’t say yes to everything, and why following your passion isn’t all that’s cranked up to be.
Honestly, the first time I read that I shouldn’t just “do what I love,” my mind exploded.
(I’m not kidding. I’m still scrapping the pieces of skull and brain matter from the walls in my room.)
In recent years, we’ve been encouraged to give up, and we learned that no, not everything happens for a reason. The universe is cruel, chaotic and random, so we might as well embrace it instead of trying to project some meaning into all the meaninglessness.
(Side note, isn’t meaninglessness the craziest word you’ve ever seen?)
I think it’s time we say enough to the naysaying of common advice.
It’s time we recognize these old-timers for what they are: timeless classics. It’s time to go back to the basics, to give these veterans a rebranding for the ages — or a throwback to their original meaning, which might be a more fitting point-of-view.
After all, good and bad advice is all a manner of how you frame it. It’s not about the advice, it’s about the one who takes it, and how one takes it. It might be time for us to start dialing down on the cynicism whenever we’re faced with one of these.
Let’s give it a go:
“Just hang in there”
The one with the power of many cats.
“Just hang in there” is definitely a timeless classic. It’s a simple enough proposition: just hang in there. Just hold on tight. Persevere.
Its detractors will have you believe that “hanging in there” will transform you into a doormat, but that’s not the point of the advice at all.
True, “just hang in there” might get you stiffening your upper lip to get through tough times, and maybe swallowing a few frogs, but resilience is a virtue after all, and it does pay off. Hanging in there as you cultivate the belief that it does get better will help you overcome adversities, and it will toughen you up to face anything that comes your way.
“Never give up”
The trick with this one is to apply it selectively.
To never give up doesn’t mean to stubbornly insist on seeing every single thing you ever get involved it to the end, it means to know when to give up versus when to insist.
Life is too bland without a goal, without something you’re willing to go all in for, to pursue it with everything you have. (Hopefully it’s nothing illegal. Or if it is, please don’t say I put you up to it).
Today’s popular advice is quite the opposite: just give up. We hear it all the time.
Give up before you strain yourself. Give up before you get depressed. Give up before you throw your life away in the pursue of one single goal.
The focus on mental health is a valid one, but what’s the use of a sheltered but unaccomplished life?
You can’t achieve your biggest goals with your skin unscathed.
It’d like to offer a different approach to the “never give up” advice:
Never give up on your biggest goals, but don’t make them the only thing you’re alive for. Keep a healthy approach to it. Cultivate good relationships, take care of yourself, have patience.
But don’t give up. Not yet. Not while there’s still hope. Not if it really, really matters to you.
Don’t give up if you want to do something really, truly great with your life.
“Just do what you love”
It’s popular these days to state that “just doing what you love” won’t necessarily get you far, that you shouldn’t mix business with pleasure, and that if you turn your passion into your career, you’ll quickly run out of passion.
Well, that’s not necessarily true either.
Having some measure of love for what you do every day matters. It makes a difference on whether you care about the outcome or not.
By all means, do what you love and love what you do.
Your dreams and your passions are often one and the same, and if you’re going to live, why not live to fulfill them both?
When doing what you love means that you’re pursuing your true calling, then there’s nothing wrong with that. Quite the contrary. Pursuing what you love and are passionate about can only enrich your life. (Again, nothing illegal, please.)
“Everything happens for a reason”
I’m not going to pretend the universe isn’t quite random.
I’m not going to pretend that bad things don’t happen to good people, entirely undeserved.
But I’m going to allow myself — and I think you should too — to seek beauty in the chaos. Believing that everything happens for a reason is looking at the bumps on life’s long road and seeing them as opportunities for growth.
Not getting that job you wanted might reveal you’re better off doing something else. A failed relationship might teach you what to really look for in a partner. Getting lost in a foreign city might be just the opportunity to find the inspiration you were missing.
Granted, “everything happens for a reason” is as cheesy as it gets.
But focusing on how out of your control life really is is a one-way ticket to depressionville.
Balance the positive side of the advice with some real-life perspective and you’ll get all the benefits without coming across as naive.
Balance is the secret. To everything.
The outcome of any advice depends on our attitude towards it
Make the best of them, and they will make the best of you.
