Keeping Faith in the Face of Adversity
How we can benefit from the hardships of life.
Adversity could be synonymous with success — at least that’s how it seems from recounting history. There are countless stories about people who overcame adversity, became stronger, and achieved success.
As the famous Walt Disney said:
“All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me… You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.”
The benefits of adversity
As the example with Disney portray, adversity could be the best thing that ever happenes to you. Some research even suggests that the more hardship you face, the better your opportunities for growth.
The benefits related to adversity is often referred to as “posttraumatic growth”, which can be drawn from all kinds of traumatic experiences: losing your job, losing a spouse or a child, severe disease, assault, and accidents. No matter the cause, people seem to benefit from trauma in three primary ways:
- A change in self-concept. You discover that you’re stronger than you thought. Your ability to deal with adversity changes your perception of yourself, both now and in the case of future adversity. You’re better suited for the next obstacle life throws at you.
- Stronger relationships. When your world seems to fall apart, having supportive friends and family members is important for your growth. In turn, your appreciation of those supporting you strengthens the relationships.
- Personal growth and a change in priorities. In the aftermath of trauma, you come to realize what’s important in life. You are more open to trying new things in the weeks following a traumatic experience. This is an opportunity to rethink values, priorities and personal relationships, which leads to changed behavior and a different life. Will you prioritize your life so it can be successful, or return to business as usual?
Keeping faith and creating a healthy life story
In 1914, Thomas Edison witnessed his factory burn to the ground, with nothing of his research and inventions to be rescued. Instead of becoming upset and giving up, Edison declared: “I’ve been through a lot of things like this. It prevents a man from being afflicted with ennui.”
Edison had faced adversity before. He knew he was strong and would survive this too. So, instead of being broken by it, he was already looking ahead.
Today we all know the success of Thomas Edison. He didn’t achieve it by being broken by adversity. He kept faith that things would work out — even if it took him hundreds of inventions and setbacks.
Not everyone benefits from adversity. The reality is that traumatic experiences can leave lasting marks.
There was a time when adveristy took its toll on me, but luckely I was able to reap the benefits. If you know how to grow from adversity, there is a better chance that you will.
So, how can we reap the benefits of adversity, rather than becoming its victim?
Fortunately, there is a way. It will take work, but so does everything of worth. In his book The Happiness Hypothesis, psychologist Jonathan Haidt has an excellent chapter on adversity, in which the answer might be found.
Adversity is in large part overcome by making sense of things and being optimistic. Making sense of what happened and finding a silver lining is the key to posttraumatic growth.
What causes adversity is not relevant; how you deal with it is. The important thing is to view adversity as an opportunity to change.
Every human being is living within their own “life story”. You create a story of yourself and your life from interpreting your own behavior, both consciously and unconsciously. How adversity takes part in our story shapes us — we are either heroes or victims.
Because the mind is trying to make sense of what happened after a traumatic experience, we can influence it through the story we tell about ourselves. We can rewrite our story to one of success. That is the right way to change your self-concept. While it’s easy to make sense of adversity by blaming or playing the victim, seeing it as a necessary obstacle to success is better.
Writing your story
Making sense of your life story can be difficult in the midst of adversity. However, an easy way to do it is by writing.
In the aftermath of adversity, a simple writing exercise can do miracles, even long after the tragic event. From my experience, it’s beneficial even months after.
Our life story must be constructed by language, by words. By writing, we make sense of what is happening.
Write for fifteen minutes non-stop, without censoring or editing. Let your thoughts flow out on paper. What do you feel? What did really happen, and why? What lessons can I learn from it? Will I become stronger because of it?
Write for several days, and you’re likely to make more sense of what happened. You gain clarity. Plus, getting things off your chest is beneficial for your long-term recovery.
Optimistically arranging your life story, so that adversity plays a part in your success, is the constructive way to do it: “I am stronger because of adversity, and I will overcome future obstacles because of it.” You grow by keeping faith.
This is what happened to me, and I know several people that has been through the same changes.
I was dealing with depression and a broken heart, and it numbed me out completely some days. Still, I knew that depression was common; that my mind was just playing tricks. This didn’t end it, unfortunately, but I kept faith all along. I continued to live my life as normal, and after a while my health returned.
In the aftermath, I was trying to make sense of everything. From this tragic incident, an interest in myself and the world blossomed for the first time. I think it’s safe to say I became a better person because of it.
I could have given up. Depression is though, but I chose to continue with my life as best I could. I knew I could take it, so I trusted that things would work out.
The experience was lingering in the back of my mind, long after I got better. I found writing down what happened to be helpful. I poured my mind and my heart out on a page, never to look at it again. But it helped me make sense.
Make sense by writing, and make it a success-story. Trust that adversity is necessary for growth, and it will be.
When adversity enters your life, you’ll see you’re stronger than you thought.
You can reap all the benefits adversity offers, if you do the work.
