Knowing My Worth as a Woman in Tech: I Got Screwed Over by Startup Bros, but I’m Grateful
A handful of years ago a self-proclaimed Operational Leader left his gig at a name brand startup in New York City and took on the COO role for the [shady, at best] tech company I then worked for. Among his first orders of business: suggest a $20,000 cut to my salary, and expect me to be grateful to keep my job.
At the time I was confused and angry, and after taking time to consider the “offer,” I quit without knowing where my next paycheck would come from. Today, as a woman and a mother, it was one of the most empowering decisions I have ever made.
My first real job out of college was your standard entry-level assistant position. I worked under a boss who terrified me with her erratic management style; one day she’d be seething with anger at my lack of genius, the next she’d be inviting me out to a rare bonding lunch. I rose in the ranks and eventually took over her job, after she quit as Marketing Director, before the age of 30.
The company’s CEO, a party boy of yesteryear turned entrepreneur, slowly ran the company into the ground but not without demeaning his entire young and impressionable (and largely female) team in the process.
The aforementioned CEO and COO, who I now refer to as The Startup Bros Who Screwed Me Over, tirelessly worked to save the drowning company before its inevitable demise a few short months after I left.
Their strategies included, among other things:
- Scammy (in my opinion) antics to collect money from unassuming users
- Extreme product strategy shifts to capture any new forms of payments they could muster
- Massive staff layoffs
- Proposed salary cuts to the few of us who were clueless enough to remain
The conversation where I received the news of my pay cut happened over lunch in Long Island City and went something like this:
COO: So Lizzie, I’ve been assessing everyone’s work here and we’re really grateful to have you on the team. We’re so grateful that we’d like to keep you on. I’d like to offer you an annual salary adjustment to $60K.
Me: [confused silence, as that’s $20K less than I was currently making.]
COO: You’re awesome.
Me: Thanks?
A few days later I came back in, completely terrified, and quit.
Today, I’m unsure as to whether I would define what happened as age or gender discrimination, the worst management tactic in history, or just plain disrespect.
The women in tech and leadership numbers in 2019 are dismal. As Forbes reports, last year women accounted for only 24 CEOs at Fortune 500 companies, a number that is trending at a decline. The world’s largest tech companies, like Google, continue to be called out for disappointing diversity statistics. Membership groups for women in tech regularly field social posts from fellow members complaining of gender inequality and harassment.
This can all be disheartening, it’s true.
I choose instead to see it as an opportunity.
Above I mentioned Tech Ladies, a closed membership group and a shining example of what can happen when women support women. As our post #MeToo world continues to value female workers at 21% less than their male counterparts, and fails at supporting working mothers in meaningful ways, it’s fueling women to keep showing up for each other in growing numbers.
While the women in tech statistics and the lack of support for mothers might seem daunting, companies dedicated to solving these issues are simultaneously gaining traction in real ways.
Chief.com is a private network supporting women leaders at huge tech companies like WeWork, Instagram, and Spotify. Mahmee, a digital support network for new moms just raised $3 million funded in part by Serena Williams.
This forward-moving momentum exists, I’d argue, because of people like the CEO and COO of my former company. Because of that, I’m grateful for the courage they helped me find to become a strong female leader.
Now, I check all the mentioned boxes myself. I am both a woman in tech and a working mother. I’ve come a long way from my younger self, and I’ve got a long way yet to go, but I won’t stop fighting the good fight for women.
See, if not for those fateful Startup Bros screwing me over, I’m not entirely sure I would fully understand my own worth, as a woman and mother in tech today. I’m not sure I would have had the courage to start my own movement of mothers supporting each other.
Gathering the courage to quit my job set me on a blazing path towards career success. A career that I hold full control over today. A career that no startup bro can take away from me or decide what my future will bring.
Thank you, dear Startup Bros. May my son grow up to be nothing like you.
