Letting Someone Into Your Space
Have You Done Your Due Diligence?
Yesterday, I did something I’ve heard people talk about but never thought I would do.
I unfriended and blocked someone on Facebook. It was my first time.
It’s funny how I thought I would never need that unfriend and block button.
The reason?
Because I know I’m way too polite and accommodating and secondly, I hardly let anyone into my space without some background check and cursory scrutiny.
So what happened this time?
For the individual I had to block, I didn’t personally know. We had over twenty(20) mutual friends and these are people I believed in to make a good judgement about this individual.
So in essence, I accepted someone into my space based on the perceived due diligence of others. I neglected what my instincts told me; because this person looked like trouble just by looking at his profile photo.
So, why did I block him? This person incessantly tried to chat me in my inbox. For a researcher, this is time I don’t have for a complete stranger with whom I share no common interests.
I thought like others I did not know personally but accepted, he would try to gradually build familiarity and rapport through posts and comments before brazenly making my inbox his favorite place.
I often used the “meeting and busy excuse” to avoid having to chat him but he refused to get the signal.
After weeks of enduring his pestering, I politely asked him to stop inboxing me and then came the insults wrapped in a sense of entitlement.
He asked: “Why did you accept my friend request”;“Stop being arrogant”; Who do you think you are?”
Wow! I was shell-shocked! After being overly tolerant and polite, I get called names!?
Well, after blocking him I forgot about the incident and moved on — mainly because he meant nothing to me.
But it was time to reassess what happened and learn a few lessons.
A few questions aided this inquiry. What does accepting a Facebook request mean?
Beyond Facebook, what does letting someone into your space mean? What does the other person expect and what are your expectations?
Apart from figuring out these questions, I entreat you to trust your instincts.
They are mostly right.
The main lesson from my experience is this: Do not rely on what you perceive as due diligence done by someone you admire or trust to allow someone into your life. Those people may have made the same assumption too and in the end, no one really knows anything about who you are about to let in.
