Life Is Happening Right Now. And Destination Addiction Won’t Let You Love It.
Halt. Seek. Relish. Happiness is right where you stand.
When I was 16, I postponed my happiness for the first time. It started in a seemingly harmless way. Amidst taking rigorous science classes and preparing for my exams, I was craving a cheesy Alfredo pasta and a fun movie. I could have just had it then and there, but I didn’t. Instead, I fixed it as an incentive. I told myself that I would indulge in this delightful experience only after my exams got over. And hey, I know that this is not uncommon. After all, it’s just some good old self-motivation in the form of an innocent reward. But it didn’t stop there for me.
I started noticing that I wasn’t letting myself enjoy things, because I believed that I didn’t deserve to yet. And this wasn’t just limited to small-scale gratification. Every time I had any reason to celebrate, my brain simply wouldn’t let me be wholeheartedly happy about it. There would always be another goal gnawing at the back of my mind, telling me I should celebrate only after I get to the next level. It escalated rapidly with every passing year and here I am at 21, terrified that I can’t remember the last time I was truly downright happy.
