Life Works in Cycles, Not Straight Lines
“This is the worst time of my life; I just want it to end”
How many times have we had things gone greatly and then suddenly they took a turn for the worst? You know, like you’re finally about to realize that dream or get to take that beautiful girl/guy out on a date then they cancel last minute or you keep meeting the same kind of V$$holes or you’ve been grinding for so long but there seems to be no results. When all of these happen we find ourselves saying that we hate our current situation and wish it was all over.
Heck I’ve recently found myself saying the exact prayer. For weeks I have been complaining and writing in my journal that I want this torturous period of my life to be over. It seems like a season of ruts. I can’t figure out my life, every time I think I have it all figured out something goes wrong. I haven’t written in 2 weeks or what I’ve written I gets thrown out and to top it all off, I am working and I constantly feel tired (yay! Welcome to the real-world kid).
Now notice, I said recently and by that, I mean that I’ve changed the way I see it and hopefully these insights help someone.
Yes, let’s go!
It’s in our nature to just want everything to go well, to write a post every week, launch a successful business, gain a huge following, hustle/grind and then it all works out. But that isn’t how life works. Why this realization, it’s because I usually don’t find myself at the complaint counter. I have always been a “I got it and then suffer in silence type” that’s why when complaining started becoming a permanent fixture on the pages of my journal, I knew that something had to change and I also didn’t want to revisit my journal in 20 years’ time and see that half of it was me complaining, that is not a life well lived.
I couldn’t go to my friends for advice because I figured that they’re so used to me complaining and at this point they aren’t listening anymore. I knew I needed to hear from someone who had gone through this or had at least. In some ways. A clue on how to deal with it. So,I went to podcasts.
Life moves in cycles not a straight line
We’ve grown up in a society that tells us that life is like a straight line. You go to school, get a degree, get a job, marry the woman of your dreams and have kids. Pretty straight forward. And for some weird reason we have applied that same message, subconsciously, to our daily lives. Now you may ask your yourself, what subconscious message? Allow me to explain.
There’s nothing wrong with that advice, but the subconscious message it sends out is that you’re constantly going to be successful and always going to be happy. Look at it this way, if you go to school and pass then you’ve ticked a box and you’re happy but nowhere does it say — “listen here, you might take longer than others”. Get a job — you ticked a box again (straight line). The subtext this sends is that you’re always going to be on a path to success with no obstacles, no years of unemployment , no rejections from love interests etc.
Life as Jays Shetty and Humble the Poet put it, isn’t a straight line. Life isn’t linear. You are never going to consecutively feel inspired, motivated, have huge successes etc. and it is normal. I repeat it is NORMAL. It is a season or just us cycling through something to get to the other side.
Life is almost like the changing seasons, what season follows summer? Winter (well, Autumn first) and then we have spring and then summer. Meaning that after wonderful periods of time it is almost always followed by a slump-ish period. I had some great runs I was writing 14 posts in one week (not publishing, just writing), but no matter how good the period was, the sucky times were still on the way.
Most of us try to avoid these “down moments”, you can’t get to summer by tearing off the winter months or simply skipping them. This doesn’t mean that you should go hide in a corner because you know it is coming or be all pessimistic about it. On the contrary, you should enjoy the wonderful periods and enjoy the harsh struggling moments even more.
The cycle (down moments) helps develop character and makes us appreciate things more, I believe this slump will make me see more things around me and inspire me to write more, but I have to go through this period first.
Our heroes
If you look at all the people you admire. Do you think they’d be great people if everything went well for them? No, they’d be boring people and you’d have nothing to admire about them and they wouldn’t have the character traits you admire about them.
For instance, Nelson Mandela, if he succeeded in his endeavors, never went to prison and was immediately elected as the first black president of a democratic country, it wouldn’t have been a great story and we’d probably not have been fascinated by his qualities of forgiveness and uniting people.
Secondly, the bravery of Winston Churchill when Nazi Germany came to invade England. The whole country was paranoid. This superpower that was Adolf Hitler (and his squad) had their sights set on seizing England. That’s when Churchill stepped up to the plate and did two things. First, he delivered what could be seen as the most motivating speech in all of history (The never ever give up speech) and secondly, he went out and commanded the army at a time when they needed a courageous leader. I’ll admit it, I am not a history major but I’m guessing the conversation between Churchill and the soldier(s) went something like this:
Winston Churchill: “What weaponry do we have?”
Commander: “At present, we have no weaponry”
Winston Churchill: “What do you mean?”
Commander: “Just knives sir”
Winston Churchill: “Number of boats and allies?”
Commander: “About 50 boats and our allies will be here in two days”
Winston Churchill: “Tell the men to get ready”
Commander: “Sir, the Germans have more men, a greater fleet and weapons”
Winston Churchill: “Gather all the knives, and when the Germans come hold it like it’s a gun!”
Commander: “But…”
Winston Churchill: “It ain’t even that deep, just focus on what we got. As a matter of fact, when you hold the knives, from a distance they wouldn’t even be able to tell if it is a gun or not, you can blind them with the shine. And when they’re close…then, boom! You stab them”
(adapted from a speech by Eric Thomas)
You can tell that the creative/artistic license has been used extensively, but you get the point. In the end they defeated the Germans with less men and less resources (and I probably need to go brush up on my history).
Point is, they had to go through those cycles to get where they wanted to be and those dark periods shaped all of our heroes into the people we see and admire today. If we never go through tough times then we never get to evolve or grow. We’re kind of like teabags if we go through hot water then we become stronger, so if we go through ruts or seasons where things aren’t looking great, we need to remember what Churchill said “it ain’t even that deep” and it’s all cool because we’re just going through the cycle and it’ll all be to our benefit.
Hi! I am Danley and if you want to add something, please do so in the comments section I like hearing from you. Got a story to tell about your experience? Let’s have a conversation in the comments area. Other than that I hope you’re having an awesome week.
