Love Your Confidence, Kill Your Ego

Brian Brewington
Aug 23, 2017 · 4 min read

I have a healthy belief in myself, as far as writing is concerned.

I’ve yet to discover or stumble upon something I’m incapable of writing and writing well. Give me the topic, subject, prompt or format and I will return to you a piece worth reading.

I know if I stick with this, which I see as an obligation and have never stopped to consider stopping — I know I can become top tier at it.

I know that because I knew from the time I was ten years old, I had an advantage over most people I knew when it came to writing.

It came more naturally to me than it did to others. I read quicker and understood it faster. I seemed incapable of spelling words wrong at times and quite frankly, I was just better at bullshitting my way through research papers than you were.

I’m confident I am on my way to becoming one of the best to do this.

However, sometimes my ego tells me I don’t have to edit what I just wrote because it’s absolutely perfect the way it is. It wants to convince me I’m already the best and there isn’t even room for improvement.

Ego believes with or without practice or sitting down to sharpen up each and every day, I am still the undisputed literary heavyweight hitter of Medium and maybe all of the internet in general.

Ego wants to quote Allen Iverson and say things like “I mean, we talking about practice…What is we even talking about, practice?”

Confidence convinces us we can and will win the fight. But ego wants us to believe we don’t have to train rigorously to do so.

What helps me overcome ego is just honesty. Being honest with myself and then sharing what I’ve found with you all.

I’m a half decent writer but I don’t work as hard as I should at this. I should dedicate more time to writing instead of to the trivial. Instead of wasting time aimlessly or on carrying out the tasks of others and making their priorities mine. I should work three times as hard on myself as I work for others.

If I dedicated a third of the time I spend needlessly worrying about things that essentially don’t matter or are out of my control, to bettering myself — I’d already be the best version of myself.

Any advantage or so called “natural” talent I was given can wither away with the wind if I don’t care for it or if I ever start to take it for granted.

If you are given a ten step lead in a race and then use said head start to lollygag for ten seconds after the gun goes off, guess where that leaves your competition? You’ve pissed away any advantage you may have had and you’re probably well on your way to losing the race.

On losing the race to runners who will use your ten step lead to motivate themselves to run harder from the start. To push themselves further when everything inside them is begging them not to. Opponents who had more of a will to win then you did, saw you hesitate and went on to outwork you.

Tenacity trumps talent ten times out of ten.

Here is what I try to remind myself of everyday I wake —

  • I’m not the best but I know I can be.
  • An advantage isn’t an advantage If I slack until the score is tied again.
  • I’m not nearly as great as I think I am nor half as bad as some, including myself at times, believe me to be.
  • In this life, you lose what you can’t learn to love and appreciate; and love and appreciation are action words, expressing them verbally does them little justice.
  • As good as I am at certain things is a drop in the bucket compared to how ungodly awful I am at others and I should remember such before I go to criticize someone who may not be as good as I am at the select few I’m good at.
  • Ego is the enemy, confidence a well welcomed companion.

I try to develop confidence that’s based on and in and reality. I’ve spent enough of my time in a delusional little bubble land created by none other than my ego. One that convinced me I didn’t have to work for it because it was owed to me.

I used to use the phrase “I always win” but the truth is I lost early and often. All of my stats we’re padded and a few of the referees may have even been paid off. The fix was always in when I did manage to win. Say it ain’t so Joe.

I’m less worried about winning today than I am playing the game fairly and giving it everything I got, for the sake of my team and integrity — not my ego.

The Ascent

A community of storytellers documenting the journey to happiness & fulfillment.

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Brian Brewington

Written by

Writing About the Human Condition, via My Thoughts, Observations, Experiences, and Opinions — Founder of Journal of Journeys and BRB INC ©

The Ascent

A community of storytellers documenting the journey to happiness & fulfillment.

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