Meditation | my morning miracle medicine
I struggle with social anxiety.
I believe we all do to a certain degree. It takes a rare breed not to feel the nerves kick in right before approaching a girl at the bar or giving a presentation to the bossman and ten coworkers.
For me, dealing with this anxiety was like dragging an anchor around everywhere. It crushed my mood. It hindered my capability to form connections with other people. Eventually, I found myself avoiding social interactions. I knew the way I wanted to act, but I had lost control. I felt trapped.
I dealt with this for quite a while before deciding during my junior year of college that enough was enough. A change had to be made.
This wasn’t the only change I was making at this point in my life. In fact, I was experiencing a little bit of a quarter-life crisis. A summer internship had woken me up to the fact that the career path I was headed down was not the one for me.
So, I decided to devote my senior year to opening my eyes to opportunities that I had not considered before. I started spending as little time as possible on my coursework while maintaining my current GPA and spending the rest of my time teaching myself what I wanted to know.
This was the best decision I had ever made.
I discovered great pieces of literature like Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. I watched Tony Robbins change a man’s life by curing him of his severe stutter, just from a few-minute conversation. I dove deep into the life stories of the great creators of our day, people like Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Steve Jobs. I could write for hours about all that I learned in just a few months, but I will spare you the time. Senior year was by far the most enlightening year of my life. I wish this revelation had come to me sooner, but there is no sense looking back.
In my research, I uncovered the great powers of meditation. Each of my new role models had their own unique morning routine that they claimed to be crucial to their day’s productivity, and meditation was always an integral aspect.
I was skeptical at first. In my mind, meditation was only for Buddhist monks and for millennial's who drank too much Starbucks coffee. But after a short time I decided to give it a try, and believe it or not, it changed my life.
Incorporating meditation into my daily schedule has, honest to God, cured me (for the most part) of my social anxiety. It has enhanced my focus tremendously. It has taught me to stop every once in a while and appreciate my environment. I feel more energetic. More confident. Just happier.
No matter who you are, where you are, or how happy you are in your current state, if you do not try some type of meditative routine for at least a few weeks, you are truly closing your mind out to the possibility of feeling something you have never felt before.
There are loads of resources online explaining how to experience the perfect meditation session. I suggest you do your research and gather information from more than one source. My routine is one I formulated over about a full year of daily meditation. I can say it works perfectly for me.
But, it may not be the best routine for you. Put in the time, find your secret sauce, and make it a habit that you vow to yourself to never break.
Before we jump in…
Duration
I vow to take at least 10 minutes everyday, but I often go over time. I have found myself opening my eyes after a powerful session to find that I had overshot 20 minutes.
Environment
Anywhere that I can sit down with my back resting against a surface. I have meditated in my bedroom, in my car, on a beach (I highly recommend this one if you have the opportunity), and many other places. Make sure it’s somewhere with a minimal amount of potentially distracting noises. I’ve found it’s extremely hard to focus if I hear voices in the background.
Body Position
I sit down with my back resting against a surface. I sometimes I fold my legs like a pretzel, other times I just extend them straight outward. My hands sit resting in my lap.
The key is to maintain a structured, but comfortable posture. Don’t be too strained that you start to feel pain and lose focus, but don’t be too relaxed that you find yourself falling asleep mid-session.
Music
This is more of a personal preference. I have done sessions both with and without music. I have found though that I have more cathartic, calming experiences when listening to YouTube videos by YellowBrickCinema. I prefer purely soft, instrumental songs with as minimal distracting tones and noises as possible.
Routine
Mine is a mesh of techniques taught by Headspace, Tony Robbins, Tim Ferris, and a few others. Headspace is a startup built around meditation guides. They offer a FREE 10-day cycle that I highly recommend you try out. For one, it’s extremely informative. It provides a novel perspective on the concept of meditation. Second, a soothing British voice guides you step by step through your whole session each day. It’s nice to have guidance to start off.
I will not go in depth in this story about my specific routine, but I will review my best practices and why they have worked for me. If you would like me to share my full routine, write to me in a response and I’d be happy to release a new story.
My best practices
1. Focus on how your body reacts to breathing
This technique teaches you to maintain focus in ways that you tend to neglect throughout your day. In practicing this, you will find that your mind will want to wonder off after a while. Be sure to bring your mind back into focus and truly feel your shoulders rise, your chest expand, and your stomach harden. Then, as you gradually exhale, feel your body fall back into a state of rest and vulnerability, like a feather falling to the floor.
Over time, you will find that your sense of focus has greatly improved. It will become more natural; you will no longer have to ‘force’ your mind to focus on something it’s not used to focusing on.
2. Take yourself to your happy place
I spend a particularly long period of time on this stage of the session, as it is by far the most soothing aspect. There is no right answer to what your happy place is. It is different for everybody.
The key here is to not think too much about it. Your mind will take itself there with little effort. The mind is an incredible tool; it stores certain pieces of information that you didn’t even know you had. It knows more about what makes you happy than your conscious self does. Let it take you to your happy place.
My happy place is the beach at sunrise in Ocean City, New Jersey. I feel myself walking down the path in between the dunes. I feel the soft breeze blowing against my face. I feel my feet sink slightly into the sand with each step. As I walk, I bend down and grab a handful of sand. I feel it fall through my fingers. I hear the soft sound of the sand falling back down to the ground and joining the rest of the countless particles that cover the beach.
With the sun peaking up over the horizon, I walk to the water. I stop right where the tide can rush up and cover my ankles. I shiver as the ocean steals the heat from my feet. A chill rushes up my spine.
I smile. I am at utter peace. There is no other place on Earth I can feel more at ease. Every single day I do this and it has never once gotten old. This stage in my routine alone improves my day tremendously.
3. Express gratitude
Devote a couple minutes of your routine to appreciate the blessings in your life. It doesn’t have to be anything specific. For me, most of the time it’s people. My mom, my dad, my brother, my friends. Often times, it’s my health. Or my job. Sometimes, it’s even my life struggles.
I make an attempt to think of three new things everyday. I don’t force it too hard though, as I know my mind will choose what I am most grateful for.
The most important advice I can provide for you in this stage is this: don’t just think of three things for the hell of it and move on. Take the time to truly be thankful. I’m talking about imagining what it would be like for these people to disappear from your life. See them smile as you tell a joke. Remember your most happy memory with them.
Eventually, you’ll find yourself outwardly expressing gratitude to the people you care about. You’ll recognize that you have a more positive outlook about your life in general. You’ll appreciate struggles. You’ll stop and feel the sun shining on your face or the comfy bed you can crawl into at the end of the night. Simply put, you’ll be a happier person. I can safely say that everyone wants to be happier.
There are several other techniques that I practice, but these are the ones that have had the most influential impact on my life and my day. As I said, I encourage you to incorporate these techniques as well as others taught by meditation experts and formulate the routine that best works for you.
I understand your skepticism. I’ve heard the excuse that you don’t have time. You may believe that you are already happy enough. But, I challenge you to at least give it a shot.
Start by reading about it. Maybe try a couple sessions. Stick with it for a few weeks. I can promise you won’t turn into a monk. You’ll open your eyes, stand up, walk out the door and go about your day just like you always do. But, there will be a little bit of a pep in your step, a smile on your face, and a newfound outlook on the world and you’ll be happy you opened your mind up to the possibility that there is true power in the art of meditation.
I love to talk with new and interesting people. If you’d be interested in chatting about the ideas mentioned above or any other ideas, shoot me an email at jlord5397@gmail.com or connect with me on LinkedIn.
If you enjoyed what you read above, follow me on Medium and read the rest of the content I have put out. Cheers!
