My Experience of Domestic Violence
And tips to get out of a similar situation
When I was about 18, I said my boyfriend could hit me. Just once, on the arm. I cannot remember why, and I have thought about it many times, I just can’t think why I would have told him to do such a thing. Perhaps I thought he would say, ‘no, that’s wrong’.
He didn’t. He hit me on the arm, really hard. Really, really hard.
I cried — I couldn’t believe he hurt me that much.
But I wasn’t living with him, I was independent of him financially. So why didn’t I just leave him there and then, dump him?
My family life was violent.
I was used to violence as a control mechanism. My mother used it frequently. My step-dad had used it on us. It was familiar. I was used to those who were supposed to love me being violent to me. So it was my own personal “normal” that made me stay with him.
Not just that, I had been taught that I wasn’t worth much, as the family scapegoat. Most things were my fault. My mother was actively kinder and more demonstrative to my brother and sister. They weren’t treated great, by any means, but they got it easier than I did.
When I was about 19, I was still with the violent boyfriend. I had begun working in…
