My Personal Guide to Becoming “Unbothered”
My experience going from a “sensitive child” to a self-fulfilled, confident individual.
The entirety of my childhood I had been deemed a sensitive child, with the addition of some uncomfortable life events coupled with my intense need for validation from others, this lead to many moments of hysteria lying in bed, and a constant feeling of burden all before the ages of 10. At this point in my youth — my mental health was at an all-time low and I was struggling with the feeling that I would never get better.
The problem with my mentality was that I truly believed something was wrong with me — but there wasn’t. However, my naive undeveloped brain was unable to process and register my emotions, and the concept of self-soothing was something I never developed. I tried to suppress my emotions, and after years of repression, I realized my strategy wasn’t working. Despite my best efforts, my emotions would never stay down.
Once middle school hit, I decided I was going to be the next Bill Gates. If you read my previous article, you would have a better idea of my change in psychology. With the use of positive displacement towards my grades, not only did my grades improve but I began to develop some sort of self-worth.
By the end of middle school, I began to see myself as a valuable individual, worthy of happiness and success — the only problem was my grades were the only reason I felt that way; which I would begin to understand is not healthy.
High school soon came and this became my opportunity to truly become an unbothered individual. An unbothered individual is someone who doesn’t show agitation, worry, or annoyance to the small things that go on in life. It requires a level of mindfulness and control over your reactions to things that don’t deserve your attention and respect.
So at this point, I would like to explain how exactly I became so unbothered.
1. Consuming Quality Content
Social media is filled with content, but choosing to consume content that either fills you with joy or provides some sort of value to your life not only shows that you value your time, but will allow you to have positive influences that can positively impact you. On YouTube alone, 300 hours of content is posted every minute!
As a young adult, I have made choices that may be questionable to my peers. I’ve deleted Snapchat and TikTok and I ensure that I read at least one high-quality educational piece of literature every single day.
If you suffer from body insecurity — Start following others that look like you.
If you feel unproductive — Start following people that inspire you to be better.
The small changes that I’ve implemented have made me happier, and I would encourage you to do the same.
2. Stop Expecting So Much Out of People
This may sound harsh, and some may argue that this contributes to a pessimistic mindset. But, lowering your expectations of others, allows you to reach a level of empowerment because you will understand that the only choices that you have control over are your own.
Besides, compassion fatigue is a real thing. If you continue to empathize with people who are living fictional characters. You will find that your emotional battery will continue to run out.
3. Start Living to Please Yourself
The most frustrating excuse I hear from people are the ones that start with “What will they think of me?”. Why let your understanding of how people will perceive your actions dictate your life. I am not giving you this advice so that you can be a selfish jerk — but rather so you can understand that not everyone is thinking about you all the time.
Find the things in life that please you, because I have learned that no amount of praise or compliments will make you feel satisfied.
Today, people are bringing up new terms like “minimalism”, when the concept has been around forever. Find the things that you need, and look for the experiences that you want.
Delve into your passions, without thinking about monetization and watch how your life will change.
4. Speak When it is Necessary
Not everyone deserves to hear your eloquence. The more people know about you, the more they can take advantage of you.
Instead of speaking, let other people conduct conversations and you will see where their true intentions lie. Observe others so you can make educated decisions about the people you want to surround yourself with.
Calling myself an unbothered individual is not something I can fully declare just yet. I have moments where I get emotional about petty things, and I let others control my emotions. But becoming self-fulfilled is most definitely a journey you shouldn’t wait to go on. The more you know about yourself, the more resilient you become.
“It’s not your job to make people realize that they’re morons.” — Kelly Stamps
