My Really Unhealthy Relationship With My Makeup
I want to start by saying I don’t hate makeup, and anyone who wants to wear it should have the freedom to do so — it’s a tool just like any other! I like putting it on from time to time, and feeling all cute and pretty when I take Snapchats and Instagram photos. Makeup can make me feel good, just like it does for everyone else! But when needing to have a made-up face is seen as a necessity in relationships, the workplace, and even just sitting at home and having a lazy day, I start to have a problem with it.
Of course, no one is really there to enforce the latter state of being, but it’s something makeup wearers will often stick to like glue. In the past, me myself and I have even panicked over a lack of concealer to cover up my spots — the spots that needed to be uncovered and able to breathe in order to heal. My pores were probably crying in relief at not being caked in layers of product, but there were times when I was a little jittery about having a bare face. Which is insane, because your home is your castle, and in your private time, you have the right to look however you want.
I’m not the only one who feels like this. Back in 2011, a study of 8 million women found about a third of them were afraid of leaving the house without a fully made up face. These women are spending a lot of time in their own homes worrying about the way they look, and going all out to try and, I’m not sure, fix it? That was 8 years ago now, has anything changed?
And eventually, that persisting feeling tipped me on just how toxic makeup culture can be. It was insane I couldn’t just sit down in my lounge pants and just lounge. Why did I feel bad about taking makeup off before I went to sleep? You definitely shouldn’t be wearing makeup to bed, by the way, if only for the amount of bed sheet washing you’ll end up doing.
Society has led us to believe women are meant to have makeup on. They’re meant to have a full face of foundation and concealer and primer and powder and mascara and eyeliner and blush and bronzer… and then some setting spray. And if you think that sentence was exhausting to get through, well, that’s because a fully made up face is exhausting to complete too. An hour or two in the morning, reserved for applying all those products in front of a mirror, can set your sleep schedule back, and sometimes, make you late for everything else in the day.
That alone is unhealthy, wouldn’t you say? We need as much sleep as we can get as adults with busy lives and careers! We need the time to rest and let our bodies heal and restore overnight. But a lot of us wake up early to make sure we look ‘our best’, as a lot of employers, and even some partners put it. In some workplaces, it can even be an enforced rule for female employees to wear makeup, especially if they’re part of the front of house staff. Does the same rule commonly apply to their male employee counterparts?
No wonder so many women are afraid of their career prospects being harmed if they turn up to an interview without lining their eyes and putting a bit of lippy on.
A woman who doesn’t have makeup on is not a rarity by any means; there are millions of us who don’t put it on regularly, or when we do wear some, we don’t use those oh so popular earthy contour shades, cool lip colours, and darker eye tones that the Kardashians are seen to deck themselves out in. The most common tones and shades definitely have a source to their popularity, and it’s definitely because of social media and reality TV stars. In truth, we’re overexposed to a sameness in makeup culture.
But a woman with no makeup on is going to receive a bit of backlash, especially if she’s off to work or about to meet a date for the first time. And that’s because we often conflate makeup with beauty, and with cleanliness, and with having your life all neat and tidy and together. It might not be said out loud, but it’s definitely in the way we’re looked at, and the way we’re thought about.
The idea that no makeup on a woman’s face means she hasn’t cleaned herself up is another insane little nugget. It makes me angry to even consider, if I’m honest. Covering your face in a synthetic layer of skin, that’s perfectly toned and blended with no imperfections, smothers the real skin you have underneath. The Georgians and Victorians back in 18th and 19th century England suffered from lead poisoning, which led to blemishes, which led to just a bit more makeup, and on the cycle went. Their makeup made their skin dirtier, and their bodies ill.
Could a similar, but a decidedly less fatal turn of events, still be occurring? What with an average of 5 pounds of toxic chemicals being absorbed into our skin year by year? How much might I have let settle into my skin, what with my teenage years being filled to the brim with makeup anxiety?
I’ve had an unhealthy relationship with makeup over the years, and I’m still unlearning how it’s affected me. Makeup is meant to be fun, it’s meant to make us feel good. It’s not meant to make us cry and panic if we’re out of it!
But I’m still not immune to the negativity it can bring. I can find myself feeling jealous of other people with shaped eyebrows and not an eyelash with an annoying clump of mascara on it. I find myself focusing a lot on how makeup can shape a face, or make it seem more symmetrical in nature.
I just want to share this experience with you, to revel in it a little, because knowing I’m not beholden to a little bottle of pale cream makes me feel a lot more healthy.
