No, I Don’t Want a House, Husband, or Kids
It’s my decision, but why does everyone think they have a say in it?
For most of my life, I wanted what society expected of me. A marriage, house, and kids seemed like the right path to take. I thought I was 100% sure this was what I wanted. That was until age 24 when my lifestyle began to change drastically.
My eczema was getting worse and I had a weak immune system, so I started eating a whole food plant-based diet. This led me to become an animal rights activist teaching me not only to stand up for others’ rights but for myself as well. I was tired of being attached and wasting money on material things I didn’t need so I read books and watched documentaries, which began my journey into minimalism. My goal is to live minimally in a van and then save enough to build a tiny house on my own land.
With all of that being said, my priorities and wants have significantly changed. I’ve changed more in the past three years than I have the entirety of my life before that. I almost feel like a completely different person. Or should I say I am just a better version of myself?
Because of the changes I have made, I no longer want a house with an unaffordable mortgage that will cause me to live paycheck to paycheck. I don’t want kids because I have no idea what the future of our planet will look like for them. And because I realized I will constantly be changing and evolving, sometimes drastically and suddenly throughout my lifetime, I also don’t have an interest in marriage.
This doesn’t mean I don’t want to commit to someone long-term. I’ve just learned throughout the years that situations and relationships can change in an instant because change is inevitable. While I want to commit to someone when the time comes, I also understand that it’s okay if it doesn’t last forever.
I’ve since been very vocal about what my goals are for the future. With this, there hasn’t been a lack of opinions from people in my life of why what I want isn’t practical. And I get why someone’s reaction isn’t always positive. Years ago if someone told me they wanted to live a lifestyle similar to mine, I probably would’ve questioned them too.
It is so ingrained in our society to pursue one specific lifestyle. So when someone ventures off the norm, it’s hard not to question it. But at the end of the day, my decisions don’t affect them. It’s important to do what you want to do with your life instead of spending time trying to please other people. They don’t have to understand your lifestyle in order to support it.
People will always have an opinion on how you should live your life.
People always think they know what you want for your future. They never cease to give their opinion about what you should and shouldn’t do. Oddly, they always seem to convince you that the path they’ve taken is the path you should take too. If someone is not affected by my decisions and I am not harming anyone in the process, is it for them to say what I can and can’t do?
While I understand that there are certain steps people take in their life that fall under the norm, there is no reason I have to do it too. It’s crazy to think that we are all somehow expected to follow similar life paths. Graduate from college, get a desk job, get married, buy a house, and have kids. Yet, we are all so different from each other. We all want to reach fulfillment. I think we can all agree on this. But what more people need to understand is that this doesn’t look the same for everyone.
It’s hard to pursue things that aren’t usually accepted by society. All of our achievements or lack thereof is something someone uses to determine our value.
She’s not married?
She doesn’t have kids?
I can hear the voices in my head vividly but I don’t let it bother me. Because no one else is going to live my life but me. When I go to bed every night, will I sleep in peace knowing I am doing what will bring me the most fulfillment? If the answer is yes, then that is all that matters.
It’s not your responsibility to gain other people’s acceptance.
It’s exhausting trying to live up to everyone’s expectations.
People will never be satisfied with the decisions you make for yourself, especially if they are not satisfied with their own. It’s something they may be projecting onto you. Because if they are happy with their lives, they wouldn’t be telling you what to do with yours. They would understand that different people want different things.
Women especially are expected to do a lot of things. A woman who doesn’t marry or have kids are less valued than a man who doesn’t marry or have kids. Apparently, you can’t be a woman of value if you don’t have kids. Somehow it’s looked down upon, especially when you haven’t completed these things by a certain age. It doesn’t matter if we’re content with our lives, love our career, and are in a good place.
Sometimes I feel like we live in a backward society where we prioritize the wrong things. And because these things are so accepted, we never even question our motive behind what seems like predetermined life decisions.
These decisions are comfortable to make. These decisions are accepted by the majority of society. These decisions will not be questioned or deemed less valuable by anyone.
But to go after someone else’s dreams will only dampen your soul while feeding theirs. There’s a reason it is someone else’s dream and not yours. The more time you spend going after your own goals, the less time you spend worrying about everyone else’s opinions.
Just because something is the norm, doesn’t mean you have to base your life decisions on it.
Society will always try to fit you into a box that you don’t belong in. It is up to you to break out of it because no one belongs in a box. It’s up to you to create your own path and not the path that was paved for you.
Go for what you truly want. Whatever you choose to do in life, people around you will always have something to say about it. You might as well do what you want. You are the most important person you need to take care of. Because if you take care of yourself, then you will be a better person to those around you.
You only have one life. Don’t spend it trying to fulfill someone else’s version of fulfillment.
Do you want to live your life for yourself or try to gain acceptance from others? You get to decide.
