On Being A Very Direct Woman In A Passive-Aggressive World
I deprogrammed my Stepford-self, but not everyone welcomes that.
When I was growing up I was a really good girl. I did what I was told and didn’t question authority. Instead of speaking up for myself when I felt like my interests were being run over, I’d cry alone in frustration. Even in the early part of our marriage, James used to chastise me for letting people push me around. This was particularly annoying to him because I would stand up for myself with him, but not with strangers or those I was less intimately connected to.
One time I went to go get my hair cut and colored. I’d always had blonde hair growing up, but in adulthood, it began to get browner and I kept it looking “like me” with some help from the salon. We’d just moved and so I went to a new place I’d never been to before. They proceeded to inform me that they would not color my hair, but would put in some highlights. I was annoyed but agreed to it. Once the process was complete, I had large chunks of blonde in my otherwise light brown hair. It was absurd looking and I told them that I couldn’t go out in public looking like that. A different stylist spent another hour covering the new highlights up with brown. I went home looking pretty much the same as I had when I’d gone in. “You didn’t pay them for that, did…
