Our individualistic choices have an impact on others

Why do I care about other people’s health?

There are a simple answer and a very complex one that I want to elaborate on.

The simple answer is that; collectively we are better.

Okay, so that’s obvious, what is not so obvious is that caring about other people is not something that comes naturally to many. We care about what people think, yet we don’t care about people in general.

If you read my last post, you would have understood that we actually want people to be misfortunate because that gives us stature; superiority.

There has been a study conducted on chimps; Chimps were given orange juice, something they valued. For chimp’s orange juice is like money to humans. They paid in orange juice to watch pictures of their peers who were in higher stature than them and they wanted the payment to see pictures of primates that were in lower stature than them.

Now, we can argue that we have individual tendencies. Each and every one of us behaves and thinks differently from one another. Sure some people are more giving than others and vice versa.

I was sitting in front of Shoppers, it is a kind of supermarket where you find household items as well you can grab food and prescription items. I noticed an overweight man coming out of his vehicle and started walking towards the store.

In my mind at that time I was thinking; what can I do to help this man?

Why did this thought come to mind? Is it my ego that thinks; if I help someone that I would be seen as a better person? Why would I automatically assume that this man needed help, to begin with? Could it be genetics? Is it social norms that determine what it means to be overweight?

I have written about exercise and all the benefits of exercise.

In my heart, I genuinely wanted to help. Maybe put this man on a diet plan, give him some exercise routines, be a guide, mentor, and support system for him. A complete stranger whom I have never met.

I am not telling you this to inflate my ego and make myself sound like a good person, this is what came to mind when I have seen this man.

Do I think about helping everyone I see? Not particularly. Do I judge everyone I see? I would be lying if I said I didn’t, and you would be too.

We can’t help but judge people, it is wired into our system. We can work on not judging, stoicism is great for that. I find this to be true; being mindful about judging is what will make you question your judgments.

When I expressed my thought about wanting to help this man to my girlfriend, who holds a degree in psychology, I was taken back by her answer. “Why would this person want your help?”

It’s true. Why would he? He is not asking for it, yet I am about to solicit my help.

I didn’t take into consideration the insult that would be absorbed by this individual who was overweight. Who am I to tell him what to do and how to live his life?

The lesson I learned here is that I should mind my own business and not push my beliefs on others.

Okay, is that everything I want to tell you? No, there is more.

Where did this notion come from that I wanted to help this man? Was it something that I was lacking in my own life? Was it the way I was raised that made me think this? Perhaps it was all the above.

Benjamin Franklin was a prominent political figure in our history. Among the many things he is credited for, he was a humble individual who also loved to write. He was witty and heedful. One of his self-proclaimed policies when he was a young man:

“Use suggestion and curiosity rather than judgement, admire people, indulge in their vanity and mind what others say.” Benjamin Franklin: An American life by Walter Isaacson

We care about people we know and we still cannot change them nor should we want to. It may bring about a feeling of helplessness because we want what’s best for the people in our circle. Their health impacts everyone who is in their lives.

Their choices do so as well. We may not realize this when we put blinders on. However, when you look at the broader picture what you do and how you live your life will automatically impact the person you live with, your family members, friends, and co-workers.

Although, who is to say how life ought to be lived? My way of living is certainly not your way of living. So shouldn’t we should just be content for people living period?

Take this story for example:

A man came home every night from work and ate fast food. After 2 years of the same routine his health deteriorated, he became less mobile, more frustrated because the things he once was able to do he no longer has the will to do.

Because of this weight gain, this man’s sleeping pattern is thrown off. He used to love getting up in the mornings and now he detests this early rise. The alarm clock blaring, the whole routine of getting out of bed and driving to work.

He becomes frustrated which soon leads into a short-tempered anger bursts. Hating the fact that he is overweight. His losing his sense of purpose and begins to lash out at work on his co-workers.

He is conscious about the anger he possesses so at home he withdraws from his roommate to avoid any confrontation. He stops answering calls from his family because he feels ashamed of the man he is becoming.

This may be a bit of a twisted story that needs some work, but I hope you get the picture. Your health affects those around you.

Or take this for example; you get sick, and you spread your sickness unwillingly to the people around you.

Today I realize I perceived this the wrong way.

Don’t automatically assume people need my help. Never presume I am better than anyone else, otherwise I am letting the ego command my decisions and efforts. Be a role model, not an advocate. Every individual deserves the utmost respect.

It is not just a practical virtue, but also a moral one as well that I will adhere.

Thank you for reading this post, I hope I didn’t offend anyone as my intentions were purely genuine in terms of being health conscious and the impact our decisions have on us and the people who are in our lives. The actions you take to be healthy may not make you happy, in fact, you may be miserable in the process, but the outcome is a good one for you and everyone else involved.

To be continued….

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Originally published at karasingroup.com on September 23, 2016.