Overcome the Fear of Success
Have you ever heard the phrase, "feel the fear and do it anyway"? The first time I heard it myself was when I read Barbara Stanny's book, Secrets to Six Figure Women.
I picked this book out at the bookstore years ago when I was struggling to wrap my mind around the possibility of earning more than $14.00 an hour which I had been making.
While that wage certainly beat out the $10.00 an hour I had been earning for ten years straight (#truth), it still sucked the life, hope, and happiness out of me as a single mother wanting to provide for her family and feed her frickn' kids.
Fourteen dollars a freakn' hour ain't sh**!
I know this know and I certainly know what I will not settle for. This stirs up a fantastic question about why we want success, have the ability to succeed, and yet we stand in our own way from achieving exactly that.
Oh, the fear of success…the struggle is real ladies, the struggle is REAL.
On today’s episode, I’m exposing a one of the many struggles I faced when it comes to wanting MORE and what I did instead of running away (which is what the old me would have done, no doubt) — and there is a quick activity to help you take action.
If you want to grab this post on the go, this lesson is also presented in audio format:
You can listen to today’s show here.
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Do you ever want something so bad but you are scare to have it. Right?? I know it doesn’t make any sense.
Only a very few know this about me, I wrote a book, a few years ago, I wrote a book. My mentor Stephen , he pushed me to think bigger. He saw in me what I didn’t yet see in myself.
He said that my next step, to become an authority, was to write and publish a book.
So, scared shitless, not thinking my niche at the time was even book-worthy, I wrote it.
I never showed it or published it, but I wrote it. Although, at the time, I wanted to become known as an expert in that industry, I had my niche nailed down and was super passionate about it…I sure as hell didn’t show up like an expert.
Fear took over me. Who was I? What would THEY think?
While I had the knowledge and understanding and the methodology for the system that I had invented, and what my book was based on…the fact that I couldn’t claim Veteran status — I hadn’t been in the industry long and the fact that I didn’t have this self-made up dollar figure in my bank account…I felt like a fraud.
Its so funny how most of our fears are simply fictitious thoughts that run unhinged in our mind.
I felt like I wasn’t good enough.
Not only that, I was afraid that I didn’t have what it takes to write a book.
I was afraid that what I had to say wouldn’t make sense or that it was too elementary for the subject.
I downplayed my graduate education, my teaching experience, my written communication skills, like everything…downplayed.
All of the excitement that should be stirring up when completing such an accomplishment wasn’t…I was afraid my hard work would be for nothing.
And I certainly didn’t want to fail in public, in my mind, failing is all I had been doing.
So this whole plan stayed hush, hush.
What I know now, and what I would say to my old self, you are enough, you are smart enough.
Just effn do it. Just do it and see what happens.
You only lose the game you never start. Or maybe its you never win a game if you don’t start.
Anyhow, the first step is to do… start.
Does that sound like you, too? Are you afraid to be rejected so you don’t bother trying? Or do you plan on trying but eventually fail to follow through? Like you get so far in the process and then you no longer show up?
Do you hold the intention of doing something great and then find the need to plan it out first, buying you time to make up silly excuses (like the one’s I shared) so that you don’t actually have to follow through?
I want to leave you with a few questions:
Why risk your happiness by playing it safe? Why risk your entire dream in order to stay comfortable right where you are?
You must be willing to do what you’ve never done to get to where you’ve never been. Make sense?
How many times have you been super excited about something and then backed down because you were scared?
You goal was too big and no one you know has ever done anything like that before.
Well, I showed up and eventually published a book — entirely different industry, available on Amazon and iBooks, its called Her Fearless Hustle: A woman’s Guide to stop being mediocre and live with purpose. I did it. I wrote and published it in a few short months. I simply had to shut down the fear and go for it. shut down all of the negative thoughts that were running free-range in my head.
What are you holding back from?
Do something even better…Grab a sheet of paper out of your notebook, write down that AMAZING THING…that thing you would love to accomplish but fear is standing in your way. Write it at the top of the page.
Now, list below your AMAZING THING…write down your fears, all of them, as they come up. Leave room in-between.
THEN, once you’ve really dug deep and listed some crazies…go back to each one and write 2–3 reasons why it’s not true.
Finally, put your notebook away and just do it!
Head on over to Her Fearless Hustle the Podcast that is where you will find my Top 10 Secrets to Creating the Life You Want. There you will also find show notes from today’s episode.
I am here to serve you, let me know how I can help. Tweet your question to @crystallayland. Be sure to use the #herfearlesshustle in your tweet.
For those of you on Facebook, DM me on my page, @coachcrystallayland
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Do your best today!
Crystal
