Humanity

Radical Humility: An Antidote to Donald Trump’s Arrogance and Self-Importance

Lessons from the Tao Te Ching — Verse 24

Darren Stehle
Oct 6, 2020 · 7 min read

There is no better example of insecurity, exaggerated self-importance, and egocentricity than Donald Trump.

Taoism is known for using metaphor, paradox, and dualities to express the natural world and the natural order of reality. Sometimes people find it confusing trying to understand the relationship between, for example, ‘good’ and ‘bad’ within the relative nature of the universe as described in the Tao Te Ching.

In previous articles (see list below), I have stated that we tend to view polarities from the extreme ends, ignoring that both sides of the duality require a middle ground to exist. Another way of saying this is that polarities or binaries are mutually arising. To have the concept, ‘good,’ you must also have ‘bad’. To have humility, you must also have arrogance.

The Tao Te Ching is not hesitant in stating what it would call despicable behaviour in the hearts of Tao cultivators — those who practice the teachings found in the Tao Te Ching and lead themselves with integrity and ethical conscientiousness in harmony with the natural order of things. They will often be referred to as Sages or the Enlightened Ones, terms you will read in many other so-called spiritual texts. In terms for today, we might call these individuals (in part) human-hearted leaders.

We observe how the natural world self-regulates in ways that sometimes appear destructive and may negatively affect a species or a habitat. In humanity, we witness behaviours that are problematic and detrimental to the unity and well-being of social groups, countries, and the rest of the world.

Human behaviours like egocentricity and self-importance, when taken to the extreme, have created every inequality imaginable, e.g., unsustainable capitalism, wealth disparity, racism, religious fundamentalism, colonialism, imperialism, oligarchies, extreme poverty, homelessness, and disregard for the ecological health of our planet.

For the Tao Te Ching, the mutually arising duality in this context is humility and egocentricity, as well as generosity and greed.

The Duality of Leadership and Politics.

Some politicians are exceptional leaders. Others put themselves into the position of politics for self-aggrandizement, personal gain, power and control. Trump has assumed the later and is an example of someone who is a significant danger to an equanimous and peaceful humanity.

The following lines from the 24th verse of the Tao Te Ching (Derek Lin translation) speak so eloquently to the destructive arrogance and egocentricity of Donald Trump:

Those who flaunt themselves are not clear
Those who presume themselves are not distinguished
Those who praise themselves have no merit
Those who boast about themselves do not last

I hope it is enough for me to say that if you have seen more than one video of Donald Trump talking (or the first presidential debate between Biden and Trump on September 29, 2020), he is the poster child for arrogance, self-righteousness, and egocentricity as described in the lines of the Tao above. Dare I say that my assessment is not at all contentious?

In verse 26 of the Tao Te Ching (The Essential Tao by Thomas Clearly), we are asked a rhetorical question about the serious responsibility of those in positions of great leadership and power, namely what happens when a leader does not have a stable sense of self:

What can be done about heads of state
who take the world lightly in their own self-interest?
Lack of gravity loses servants of state;
instability loses heads of state.

Again and without contention, as of this writing Donald Trump refused to remain in hospital while ill with COVID-19 and has potentially exposed multiple people to the deadly virus— all for the egotistical purpose of being seen through a bullet-proof window for a presidential motorcade to demonstrate his grip on power. That such a display is required, echos the prophetic verse above.

What Is the Alternative to Disruptive and Destructive Arrogance?

Humility is one of the core teachings found in the Tao Te Ching, and one of the six principles that support my philosophy of human-hearted personal leadership. I do not believe it is far-fetched to claim that much of the world is suffering from an extreme lack of humility.

In “The Tao Of Leadership,” John Heider writes,

“All these behaviors come from insecurity. They feed insecurity… Consider: When you think you are so good, what are you comparing yourself with? God? Or your own insecurities?”

The path to Donald Trump’s rise to power has been slowly and carefully cleared of obstacles and resistance for a very long time by a hand-full of controlling, self-centred, arrogant people (men mostly). Others have documented the slow creep towards fascism in what is now, sadly, an unstable, fragile democracy — perhaps already at the end of its lifespan. Trump’s rise to power was and is still supported by many American voters who live in insecurity, arrogance, or both — the perfect social strata for populism.

Not only do we need to practice the most fundamental lesson of humility, as shared in the 24th verse of the Tao Te Ching, but concurrently compassion, non-contention, flexibility, impartiality, and unity.

We must also conscientiously examine our ego-centric need to be shamelessly self-righteous in belonging to the right political tribe or ideology that ultimately only furthers contention and division.

That is, unless it is your sincere desire to support the slippery slide into a fascist, imperialist Divided States of Trumpistan!

It is all-to-easy to attack someone on social media for their beliefs, to add content to a discussion that has nothing to do with the original message — creating a straw-man argument and inviting disagreement — and to mirror arrogance instead of trying to reduce contention by building a bridge of trust and understanding towards the middle ground.

It is only from the middle ground, the mutually arising sides of the argument, that we discover what connects us. Why else would we be arguing or fighting if not for the same thing, but only from a different point of view?

Self-awareness, inner approval (also called self-love), personal responsibility, and heart-felt convictions are natural.

Self-righteous and egotistical behaviour is the seeking of external approval and validation that is superfluous and harmful to a healthy and unified humanity.

Inner approval cultivates equanimity, equity, and heart-felt connection. The need for external approval cultivates discord, arrogance, and division.

An Invitation to Practice Human-Hearted Personal Leadership

Social transformation starts with personal transformation. The next time you find yourself about to attack someone on social media or here on Medium (because they are oh-so-wrong), ask yourself,

“How can I respond in a heart-felt way with compassion and humility?”

Once you have your answer, express it to the other person and then practice the “impartiality of response” — meaning, don’t allow your ego to expect or anticipate a reply. The other person might not be ready to respond in the same way, if at all. If they reply with more anger or frustration, ask yourself the same question above. You may wish to try again, walk away, or respond with a gentle question to practice what I call, “silent listening,”

This is when silence becomes a great strength; not silence in the sense of not speaking up, instead, silence practiced as a form of impartial witnessing, of being open to understanding the other person’s beliefs, values, and morals, and as an equalizing practice.

As I have been developing my 6 Principles of Human-Hearted Leadership I have been concurrently practicing them. It has been challenging — and I royally screwed up about a week ago — but I have been feeling more centred, calm, and confident in how I approach contentious situations.

My observation so far is how much many of us have been conditioned to attack first — not leading with questions, curiosity, compassion, or understanding. I include myself in those ranks because it’s been only recently that I have changed the way I look at things, resulting in the things I am looking at changing.

I would love to hear how this practice worked for you. Remember, the question above is not about the other person. Instead, it is about who you want to be as a human-hearted leader in the moment.

Darren coaches personal leadership based in neuroscience and the wisdom of the Tao Te Ching to cultivate an equitable humanity of acceptance, freedom, and joy. Subscribe to his podcast, Think Queerly and learn more at DarrenStehle.com.

The Ascent

A community of storytellers documenting the journey to happiness and fulfillment.

Darren Stehle

Written by

Helping deep thinkers & creatives cultivate their purpose & uniqueness to enjoy more peace of mind, acceptance, and freedom. DarrenStehle.com.

The Ascent

A community of storytellers documenting the journey to happiness & fulfillment. Join thousands of others making the climb on Medium.

Darren Stehle

Written by

Helping deep thinkers & creatives cultivate their purpose & uniqueness to enjoy more peace of mind, acceptance, and freedom. DarrenStehle.com.

The Ascent

A community of storytellers documenting the journey to happiness & fulfillment. Join thousands of others making the climb on Medium.

Medium is an open platform where 170 million readers come to find insightful and dynamic thinking. Here, expert and undiscovered voices alike dive into the heart of any topic and bring new ideas to the surface. Learn more

Follow the writers, publications, and topics that matter to you, and you’ll see them on your homepage and in your inbox. Explore

If you have a story to tell, knowledge to share, or a perspective to offer — welcome home. It’s easy and free to post your thinking on any topic. Write on Medium

Get the Medium app