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Read Self-Help → Feel Good → Sleep Over It → Don’t Act → Repeat

Stop reading self-help to feel good about yourself.

Photo by Maarten van den Heuvel on Unsplash

It is time for action.

I have been doing this for a long time now. You have been doing this too. Maybe not all of you. But mostly, at one point we are all guilty of doing it.

That is, reading self-help articles to make yourself feel like the one you always wanted to be. To feel good about yourself.

You make yourself feel better by wishing for it.

Here is a feeling (Feel with me):

So you are scrolling through Medium and you find a post about being more productive in the mornings. You read through it all and when you are finished you feel motivated. You go to another similar article and so on.

Now, do one thing and imagine the feeling with me. You feel as if you are going to do those things from tomorrow. No more delays.

You are on some other level. You may already think you are doing this. It is a dirty trap.

What happens the next morning? You sleep it off and then you don’t even remember reading the post or the feelings. You wake up and you go to the office. You read again. You feel again. And the cycle continues.

Do you know how I know this? Because I have done this. I recently realized this while reading another self-help article.

Believe me, this is worse than you think. This simple act is robbing you off of your time. While you could put that time in creating things, you are wasting it on a loop of feeling and sleeping.

For those of you who remember reading and waking up next morning regretting, it is even worse. They try and fail. Over and again.

They may try very hard and that too genuinely but they fail. The reasons for their failure may be numerous and they may not even know it. That is why they cannot figure out what is wrong with them.

And to figure out what is wrong with them, they read more self-help articles. Then the whole cycle repeats itself.

It is freaking exhausting.

I have been through it.

I am going through it now.

I still read self-help to try to figure out what is wrong with me.

I am almost done.

It is not helping me.

I am writing here so that maybe because I have a sense of duty to write here and in the process I will figure out myself of where I am going wrong.

Maybe one day. But, giving up is not an option.

It never was.

For now, people like me have to realize that they need to stop reading articles for help (I mean do not completely rely on them) and experience and experiment more to learn more to understand who we are.

You are Losing Time

When you fall in to the circle of reading, feeling, and sleeping, it is a waste of time.

It is a time you can use to actually do something that will teach you something either about you or not about you.

You will know what is for you and what never was for you.

Here is a thing. Life is not fair. I know that. You know that.

In this process of finding ourselves we will come across people and processes we may hate but that is the point.

Right now, while writing this article, all I want to do is go home and sleep but if I do that, then I will also learn something about me and it will be very ugly.

Live and Work.

Work and Love.

Live and Love.

I am not the person I used to be. Also, I am not the person I want to be. I have only started now.

But, I did not start by reading and sleeping. I did that for a long time and I am still doing that but my growth was only when I DID actual work.

Wait right over there. Before you point that gun of accusation on me, let me tell you I am not against reading. In fact, I read too.

Reading is the best habit one must possess.

My point being, if only reading did all your work, then…right?

Stop getting in to the loop of self-satisfying yourself by reading self-help articles and go and do something about it.

Be Emotionally Mature

The solution in my sense is do not get too emotional on self-help resources. I know you want to get better.

So do I.

Emotions can be your best friend or your worst enemy.

In this case, as soon as you read the article, you start flowing in the river of emotions and you think that that river is going to take you to your destination. But it will not.

It will drag you with itself and thrash you against the rocks and debris in the river. It may even break you. You may even give up.

Before you could even reach your destination, you will die of suffering too much injuries. You will succumb to death.

Or, you can make a raft boat out of the debris and sail your way through the maze of rocks and other unnecessary debris.

In other words, be emotionally intelligent. Matured.

Here is what being emotionally intelligent means (not emotionless):

Understand what the post is about. If you can relate to it, if it is what you wanted in your life, then make a note of it, put it on the calendar, plan it, and follow through the plan.

Believe you can do this (don’t skip this).

And then start doing it. Slowly. Do not think about the speed. Just do it.

Do it because you can.

The end must be better too…

Here are the key takeaways:

  • Read to educate yourself. If you are reading an article, do not get all emotional about it. Leave room for rationality too. Think if this is actually possible or not. If you think it is, then do it. Follow through.
  • Blog posts will never replace books. Read read read read read read. I have said it a hundred times and I will say it again. Read books. A blog post summary is not the same as reading a book.
  • Experience more. Experiment more. If you want to be a better boxer, box more. If you want to be a better gardener, plant more trees. No. That is BS. There are millions already boxing and gardening. What makes you different than them is how you approach your art. People have been successful by introducing a better and improved version of what it is they are proposing.

Thank you for reading the post. I hope I could help you in some way.

I will see you tomorrow. Bye. :)

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