Redefining “home” — 8 new meanings and the 1 that matters most.

When “home” is no longer defined as just a physical place.

When you say “I’m home,” what do you really mean?

Are you talking about the building that houses all of your belongings? The place where you belong?…

I used to consider “home” the apartment I went back to after school every day. But growing up with a dad in the military meant that my home changed every few years.

The city changed, the apartment changed, the school changed, and friends changed.

When something typically permanent, changed as frequently as it did for me, I never felt completely at home — I never felt like I belonged.

So, I continued to bounce around for the following years — even when I didn’t have to.

The longest I’ve lived in one place since I was born is still 4 years.
The longest I’ve lived in one place since college is 2.5 years.
The longest I’ve lived in one place since March 2016 is 1 month…that’s 20 homes in 20 months — except they weren’t homes. They were houses, apartments, and air bnb’s.

The idea of a home was lost on me.

“I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself.” — Maya Angelou

What did “home” even mean?

The more places I visited/lived in search of a place to call home, the more impossible it seemed that I’d find a place that’d give me the feeling I expected a “home” ought to feel like.

After traveling the world for a year and a half, I still hadn’t found a single place I felt like I belonged, and finally learned that “home” did not have to be a physical place.

8 new definitions for the word “home”

Where you’ve lived the longest

This will typically be the place you spent your childhood or developmental years, since once you’re off to college, you end up moving around for school, jobs, relationships, family, etc.

In the first 18 years of my life, I lived in Korea, Alabama, Washington State, and Germany, but the longest stint was in Germany for 9 years. Although I moved to several different neighborhoods throughout those 9 years, Germany will always be a home for me.

Where you’ve created significant memories

If there’s a place where you experienced significant transformation — where you developed a core part of who you are today — being in that place can be “home” for you.

Being at WIP in Croatia will always be a home for me because it was in Croatia that I let go of my need for perfection. In doing so, the person I am today is radically different than the perfectionist I was, prior to my month in Croatia.

Where you’re living at the moment

Sometimes you can be so present in the moment that wherever you are, you make it your home. That’s a form of home, especially if you make it your own.

Since I’m still traveling and moving to a new place every month, this version of home for me is wherever my suitcase is (currently a hotel in Oakland). Although I have to pack light, there are things I always bring with me to make a temporary space my own — my bracelets, my loofa, my journal, and my travel ukelele.

Where is most familiar to you

If you can give a tour of a place, or you recognize a landmark because you’re passed it many times, or you’ve organized a room to look a certain way, being familiar with a place is a version of home.

Los Angeles will always be a home for me. Of all the states in America, I’d say I’m most familiar with it — I’ve moved back twice, gone back to visit several times, keep up with the happenings there and always snap back to knowing how to get around whenever I go back. I haven’t lived there the longest, but I’m definitely very familiar with it.

Where you’re surrounded by a community of like-minded people

A community is like a tribe. It’s where you have a mix of people who are connected by at least one underlying commonality. Whether that be creativity, a particular subject matter, a hobby, activity, or cause…being surrounded by a group of people with a shared mindset is a kind of home.

For a year, I traveled, worked, played, and lived with a group of about 70 people who all shared a common passion for travel. My Remote Year group, Cousteau, was my community for a year and whenever I’m with them, I feel a sense of home.

Where your friends and family are

Home can be found with your friends and family. Whenever you are with your closest friends who just get you, or with your family who knows your quirks and weird habits and loves you anyway, your are home.

Because my family lives in one place and I have friends I’ve made throughout the years in all of these places I’ve lived, I could either view this one as not ever having a wholesome home, or having many homes no matter where I go. I feel at home when I’m with my closest friends, even if it’s having a phone conversation with them, so in that sense, I always have a home.

Where you developed your cultural identity from

Culture plays a huge part in the idea of home. It is what often shapes a person’s values and morals, and taps into the core identify of a person. For that reason, where you developed that identity from — whether a physical location or group of people, etc. — serves as a kind of home.

Korea will always be a home for me because my mom is Korean and so much of what has shaped my personality and mannerisms comes from Korea. From my love of variety in food because of the bon-chon (Korean for vegetables) to the respect I have for authority and elders because of yae-yi (Korean for respect). Whenever I’m in Korea, I feel a sense of home because I speak Korean, love cute things, and have an appreciation for many Korean traditions.

Ultimately, where you are completely yourself

When you are being completely yourself, you are at a place of comfort, a place of growth, a place of familiarity and love — you are able to be the person you identify as your best self.

Whether you feel completely yourself in a certain city, with certain people, in a certain building, or doing a certain thing, “home,” can take on many forms.

And it’s up to you to decide what that looks like for you.

If you find yourself not feeling like you belong anywhere, it may be time to take another look at how you’re defining home and create a new meaning of the word for yourself, as I did here.

Home is not a place — it’s a state of being.

It’s the state of being completely yourself.

So when they say “there’s no place like home…” it’s true because there isn’t anyone else who is just like you.

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ― Oscar Wilde

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