S — Seek advice from those around us we trust
Originally posted at http://tarsoxjr.blog
Previous blog I — Ignore Temptation to Make Money the Goal
“Form your purpose by asking for counsel, then carry it out using all the help you can get.” Proverbs 20:18
This one is a little difficult for me. When I set off on my career there was always one person who I knew would shoot straight with me and that was my dad. Through every career decision, every maneuver I made, every hand I played he was my sounding board. I ran through scenarios with him and how I was planning on approaching a situation. What I loved about these discussions was he never told me what to do, he listened, gave me his opinion and sent me off to make my own decisions. That’s one of the things I miss most now that he’s gone.
One of the things he did in the over 2 years he was sick, whether intentionally or unintentionally, was left me with some of his friends that have been there for me. I have also been fortunate enough to make friends along the way who I trust and seek advice from, and of course my relationship with God, the Wisest of counsels. It is so important to talk to people about your plans, whether they be career or life there’s just something about saying things out loud that helps shape the message.
You see this is what I think is problem is, too many people make rash decisions without gathering enough information. I’m not saying you exhaust and belabor every possible angle and get into the dreaded analysis paralysis but don’t just stick your finger in the air and check the wind either, find people who speak truth into your life. There is a delicate balance here and that’s why seeking counsel of people outside of the situation is critical in any decision. What a lot of people do is look to “justify” their desire not truly seek what is best for them or their family. You all know those types, they have a list of reasons (aka justifications) for the decisions they make and funny enough these decisions are typically something they want right now but has very little thought of how that will impact their future.
In this decision, I was lucky enough to have a number of people who I leaned on as I was going through the process, in particular, the 3 I’ll mention here. I had my financial planner, a career mentor, my pastor all of whom I consider friends. As well as some lifelong confidants who I was able to speak to throughout this process. On the day I made this decision I met with those individuals and asked them to challenge my thinking. I wasn’t looking for approval, I was looking for more information. I started by seeking financial guidance, did I really have enough to do this with a wife, 3 kids and lots of responsibilities. The answer here was yes ultimately but what I asked myself was could I afford NOT to make my family a priority right now. The second person I called was my former CEO and friend who has seen a lot in his career and is a straight shooter for sure. In short, his advice was to follow my heart and use my head, he had been through similar circumstances. Last but definitely not the least was my pastor and friend who has been on a 3-year journey with me as I redefine what is important to me in my walk with Christ. He felt I had prepared, sought God and was at peace with the decision. So I did it I sought advice from those around me I trusted and the decision was clear.
I certainly miss being able to have these conversations with dad but there is no doubt he has a hand in everything going on here. We often used the phrase God Winks which is from a book titled “When God Winks”. These are those little things that happen in life, the beacons that let you know you are on the right path. Some people call them coincidences, others call them chance. I don’t believe in either of those things. I have seen throughout my life these little beacons along the way that let me know I’m on the right path. I never take any of those things for granted and I acknowledge them for exactly what they are, confirmation that I’m moving in the right direction and that if I move forward with faith and confidence there’s no telling where life may lead.
