Self-Help — The Greatest Kind Of Help There Is

Tyler Cranston
Ascent Publication
Published in
11 min readJan 26, 2019

Self-help, self-reliance, or self-dependent, whichever one you prefer to call it; is the beginning to greatness, and the first step to success.

If you want it done right, then you gotta do it yourself. How about, if you want it done at all, then you gotta do it yourself. 80% of people don’t care about your problems or goals, because let’s face it, who doesn’t have at least one problem or a goal of their own? Learn to rely on yourself at least 99% of the time.

Trust Yourself More

We’ve all done it, at least once or even infinite times. You know. Calling or asking for help or favors. The word “favor” can be a relief or a pain in the neck, depending on whether you are the speaker or listener.

It’s annoying, in fact, the moment someone asks me for a favor, I ask myself three things. One, will this benefit me or give me some worth of knowledge. Two, does this person deserve my help. Three, can this person be depended on in the future if I were to call or ask them for a favor. If all three criteria are met, then it’s a green light for me.

It’s great and okay to ask for help or favors. Humans should help and support one another to succeed and grow. However, when one favor becomes two, three, or ninety-nine favors, then we have a major malfunction.

Now you (the asker) have put yourself in a situation of needs and desperation. No one and I mean no one likes to be asked or told what to do, twice. If you have kids, you know exactly what I mean.

Everyone now knows that you’re a good for nothing beggar. When you want to get something done, well, you can’t because you rely purely on others. Learn to do things yourself. The internet is endless; there are more books today than there will ever be, and you should want to rely more on yourself.

When someone does a favor for you, you feel good, right? Have you thought about why they asked you? It’s because of your skill or knowledge. You possess something that they don’t have. It means you have some value.

Why not trust yourself to handle more situations on your own? Become your very own Macgyver or Bear Grylls. They have a knack for problem-solving, for just about anything and everything. Of course, these are TV shows, but it does portrait how one can depend on themselves in such situations.

What are you going to do when you are alone or when that time comes when no one wants to help or do favors for you? I guess you’re screwed.

Key Take Away — The more you rely on others, the less trust, worthiness, and importance you give to yourself. There will be a day when no one will be there for you. Then who must you look up to? You, just you.

Knowledge And Education

How is one able to speak a second language or fix cars? By learning and education. Yes, there will be a little bit of sweat, discomfort, and a whole lot of practice.

Education gives one more knowledge. And what does more knowledge mean as a whole? Value!

The more you know, the more you are worth. How much are CEO/VP/P/Head Manager/Janitors/Cooks paid? That depends entirely on their position and task.

CEO’s can make 100 to even 100,000 times more than a cook. Education is one of the biggest contributing factors to success. We do not live in the 12th or 1st century anymore. In those days, sticks and stones maketh a man. Such ideology has been eradicated from society since the industrial age. Now education and status maketh a man.

Today, even beggars can rise to the rank of incredible, untouchable powers. That was not the case back then, not at all. If you yearn for power, authority, status, wealth, and the likes, then you shall have it. With education, you can have all the riches and desires that this world and Universe has to give.

Read all the books you can, study the internet from every corner, and apply what you have discovered through execution. As you can see, no one can force you to read, study, or execute anything. (Not talking about kids)

The only way one shall advance to such status is by doing everything on their own. There will be family, friends, and coworkers to help you along your journey. However, the ultimate person that can bring themselves to where they want to be in this life is you.

Pride yourself in education. Learning is fun, opens doors to new opportunities, discover the unknown, and banish fear from existence. Humans fear the unknown, and what they can not comprehend.

That is why God(s) has(ve) no fear because he/she/it/they are omniscient. I’m not saying we can become Gods but I don’t think you will be able to learn everything that this world has to offer, well, not in one lifetime.

Key Take Away — Knowledge is power! IT CAN CHANGE THE WORLD! Men (women) today are judge based on status and power. Anyone can rise to epiphany, but not everyone has the will too.

Time Is Precious

First, you have to call someone, then hope they answer, and finally pray to dear God that they say “yes” or will help you out. And that’s just the good part. What if they can’t help you today or even this week, but you have a deadline to be met? Still, both of you must meet at a designated point to get the job done.

All that could have taken 1 hour or even 1 week. The point here is that we can minimize such tedious and wasteful resource by doing it ourselves. How can we learn to do such things if we never had any prior experience?

One, learn from them as they are helping you out with your problems, so the next time you can do it yourself. Two, be financially independent so you can afford to have these inconveniences fixed on time, every time! That’s the ultimatum unless you’re annoying and constantly love asking everyone to assist you out.

Remember, time is the most valuable thing in this Universe except for antimatter which is worth trillions, but that’s for another “time.” People have families, jobs, free-time, and other times that they need for themselves. When you continuously beg for favors, it makes you a selfish being.

Being selfish is not the issue, being selfish while wasting other people’s time and resource absolutely is. If you waste my time, then you best believe there won’t be a next time from me. Just make sure you WILL return the favor somehow. It truly means something to the other party.

Key Take Away — Time is priceless. Make sure you minimize resources and maximize efficiency when asking for favors. Even if you are as useless as a wet toilet paper.

Makes One More Worthy

Wait, didn’t you already read about this? Sure you did but should emphasize how vital it is to make one worthy or more worthy. Let’s take movie stars for example. 1,000’s if not 100,000’s of ordinary people audition for roles or a small parts. Let’s say half are accepted. Can you guess how many actually make it to the top? Maybe 1/10,000 that audition.

The movie stars that are at the top of the list never gave up. They showed up on time, every time. Did things that their peers weren’t willing to do. Spend months if not years perfecting their acting techniques. And where do you think this type of skill comes from?

From self-help and self-doing, of course. Acting is not a talent. The dictionary defines talent as a “natural” skilled that has been developed. The last time I check, no child was a born actor/actress.

If you want to be worth millions, then you will work hard. If you want to be worth billions, then you will work harder. If you want to be worth more than anyone in this world, then you will never stop working, on yourself!

The reality here is, people who work towards their dreams and goals; day in and day out, for as long as they can without giving up, eventually get to where they want to be. Let me say that again in a different language. As long as you do not stop, you will get to where you want to be in life. (Assuming that death or an accident doesn’t get you first.)

No one on this earth will wholeheartedly pure every ounce of energy into making your dreams a reality. Only you can do that. Only you can be worth as much as you want to be. Only if you put in the proportional amount of work and sacrifice, then why not?

Key Take Away — How much are you worth? Words and thoughts are just as useless as wiping one’s butt after showering. Your worth is determined by your actions. Execution is infinite times more worthy than any words or thoughts.

Builds Character And Leadership Skills

How many people does it take to run a company? That’s like asking how many pull-ups can one do before they are exhausted. The answer can range from 1 all the way to 10,000’s or even more.

Some individuals run multi-million dollar companies or sole-proprietorship, and there are groups of people who run less than million dollar companies. It all boils down to the individual, not the company. How do I know? Well, I literally just stated the facts for you.

For one to rise to leadership or boss position, what must one have? Is not all the skills of every employee part of the requirement? How can one run a company if he/she doesn’t know everything that is needed?

When running a one-man business, it forces one to adapt, improve, and even improvise. Running a business for a company still requires some serious skills and leadership traits, but one can delegate task and work among employees. However, running a big business entirely relying on oneself is even more badass.

Relying on others is not an option. One must learn and do everything on their own. Sure, you have to outsource some of your work, but everything else is handled by you.

That is why self-help is super vital when it comes to sole-proprietorship or running your own business. Most large corporations had to start with at least one person. Don’t you think that somehow that one person develop a ridiculous amount of skills and character over time? Well, I can positively say that if they didn’t, then such companies wouldn’t have existed. You may want to check out The story of Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg.

Key Take Away — There are some things that mentors and teachers cannot teach or build. When one truly wishes to accomplish a goal or purpose, he/she will use any means to overcome such adversities. One will naturally develop skills and character over time.

Be Independent

Self-reliance means to be independent, or almost purely rely on oneself. I remember when I left my parents home and care, the first thing I wrote on my social media and dating bio was that I was free and 100% independent. Looking back, I was free but nowhere independent.

The lack of worldly knowledge and skills force me to work and live with my uncle, for almost 5 years. During those times, I was able to build skills and learned how to lived on my own.

Being independent makes one grow and mature. You get creative and must absolutely rely on yourself to get things done. I guess you could say it is an attribution of confidence.

Today I can confidently say that I am fully independent. I work, travel, play, and do everything on my own. All of this would have been quite impossible if it weren’t for the fact that it took many years of knowledge and perseverance to build up over time.

Self-reliance gave me the courage and experience to fully be independent and do what I really want and love without question or hesitation. When I say independent, I mean that one supports and does everything on their own without interference from family, friends, or coworkers.

Ask yourself, are you truly independent. Is your boyfriend, parents, or even someone “special” paying or supporting you financially in some way. If so then you are not independent. You don’t have to be, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Key Take Away — I’m just saying that self-reliance will definitely force you to be fully independent or at least build up the skills to do so if you wish to be independent. The word self-reliance itself means to be self-independent. It’s one thing to say it and other to demonstrate it.

Discover Yourself & The Unknown

The more you rely on yourself, the more trust and care you give to yourself. It’s not quantum physics. Well, it’s more than just care and love. As one starts to handle more tasks and when a certain unforeseeable situation arises, what must one do?

Adapt, improve, or improvise! Tackle those problems and think of a solution, all by yourself. Now, imagine doing this monthly, weekly, or even on a daily basis. Do you realize how much skill, knowledge, and new things you will build or experience over time?

When humans are forced to rely on ourselves, especially for survival purpose, nothing is stopping us. These are just facts and studies have shown that life itself will adapt and evolve. If proven otherwise, then we humans wouldn’t be here nor life itself.

You see, all living organisms started as a single cell. Of course, it took almost a billion years for it to evolve and advanced to the most intelligent life-form on this planet, humans. We humans have 77 years on average to live. It may not be a considerable amount of time, but it’s enough to know thyself, to the fullest.

During those 77 years (give or take 10–20 years), one should be able to discover themselves, and know who they are. Humans are explorers, travelers, adventurers, and conquerors. Earth is just the beginning. The Universe is waiting for us to go forth and establish ourselves.

Key Take Away — Maybe your life isn’t fulfilled or possess little significance, but that shouldn’t stop you from trying new things. The more you know, the more you will feel fulfilled. If you discover yourself, perhaps your life will mean more than it is right now.

Forge Your Own Destiny

People who are living life to the fullest, achieving their purpose and dreams, and living life without a single regret. Do you think they have mastered self-reliance? Most likely so.

It shows itself. Think of any famous, successful, or influential person that comes to mind. Now compare that to the average Joe. Do you see where I am going with this?

I honestly believe that I have yet to master myself. Maybe far from it, however, I can positively say for sure that right now I have the ability and will to forge my own destiny. And believe me when I say self-reliance has a huge role to do with that.

Do you plan on making other people’s dream become a reality or yours? What’s it going to take to prove that? A little bit of courage, some hard work, and a whole lot of self-belief. Self-belief is also one of the most crucial factors when it comes to paving your own path.

Because honestly, at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how much others believe in you. If you don’t believe in yourself, then nothing will be possible. Every step starts and ends with you because this is your life. Trust me; only you can create the life that you yearn for, no one else. I think we can come to a mutual agreement on this.

Key Take Away — This is your life. If you honestly believe that others will take their own time and effort to carve your life, then you are gravely mistaken. Only you and only you can manifest the life that you dream of. So have faith, self-reliance, and trust in yourself, always!

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Tyler Cranston
Ascent Publication

I specialize in aiding others through self improvement/development, power of positivity, & self belief. “Bend Life To Your Will” — https://easylifejourney.com