Ascent Publication
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Ascent Publication

Photo cred: Keri

Six things I’m sure of, now that I’m 29.

  1. It’s better to fuck up than to have regrets. While many of my friends were contemplating career moves, dating, or travel itineraries, I was just out doing it. I learned that you end up with more experiences this way, and it makes your life a lot more interesting. Tell the boy you love him if you feel it. Apply for the job if you want it. Fly to Spain if you’ve always wanted to go. If I get my heart broken, brilliant-I’ll lock myself in for a few weeks and get to write until I have nothing left but peace. Just don’t hurt anyone. Like Benjamin Franklin said, “Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.”
  2. Just because you COULD mess up, doesn’t mean you will. If things work out, be grateful. I mean, look at me, all still alive and shit. I’m even pretty happy with the way things have played out, and I’m excited to see what’s next. I’m alive (yes, very proud of this), have a nice job, have a nice flat, have nice friends, have nice recreational hobbies, and live in a nice city. And have the means to get on a nice plane and go to other nice places if I like. I am very, very blessed.
  3. You’re never too old to make stupid decisions. They just matter less, because you’ve gotten more experienced at recovering. Mistakes are the best way to learn, and I have a story to validate this. Earlier this year, I bought a pair of flats that were cute but a little tight and uncomfortable. I thought that I would ‘break them in’ eventually, that the leather would soften up and mold into a welcoming fit for my beautiful feet. Well, it never happened and they still hurt. I have now gracefully retired them, and will no longer buy shoes that aren’t comfortable. The same pretty much goes for relationships. (Where my first three points the same? I’m not sure. I’m still a failure at uncorking wine bottles, and tonight wasn’t a good night to fight for it so I’m just drowning in whiskey like a proper lady.)
  4. Find someone you want your future kids to be like. I wish I hadn’t wasted so much time with men I wouldn’t trust to be around my children, much less father them. This will help you narrow down prospects, as strange is it seems, because character matters. I’m not promising that if you choose someone intelligent and kind that your kids will be as well, but as least they will be raised intelligently and kindly and are more likely to develop these traits themselves. Even more importantly, examine your partner’s faults, as your children may pick those up as well. No one is perfect, so which flaws can you tolerate? (The list narrows down for me every year.)
  5. You can be crazy, just don’t let it show too much. Be crazy, act normal.
  6. Your partner is not responsible for your happiness, you are. This is a hard truth, but don’t worry I’ve tested it a couple times just to make sure. When people say things like ‘he’s my world’ or ‘she’s my everything’ I just want to die inside. People can make you happy and it’s a nice thing when you fall in love with the person who puts a smile on your face every day, but they should not be the only reason. Pursue projects and activities that connect you with your passions and allows you to be creative. Invest in your own growth, whether it’s taking a language class or picking up a new sport. Challenge your career or move somewhere new on your own, see how far you can chase the horizon without looking back. When you’re so engaged with living a full life, falling in love is icing on the cake. Don’t let love throw you off balance, it’s just extra fuel.
  7. Don’t make drastic decisions based off emotions or feelings. There is a logical way to do things, and if you are in love this is very hard to do. Hop on a plane to get out into the woods to think, and come back with a decision. It helps me, anyway.
  8. Coconut oil is an amazing make up remover. Astonishing, really.

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Kalong

Portland lover. Food eater. Travel-er. I write about my life dramas on here, everything else is somewhere else.