Skeptic To Believer: Why I Started To Believe And Practice Meditation

I graduated from high school in 2017 and was going through a rough patch as my exams for college selections didn’t go very well. My parents supported me and encouraged me to prepare for exams the next year rather than make a hasty decision. I agreed and decided to give the exams one more shot and started preparing for it.

What was difficult about the preparation was not the study aspect of it but the loneliness I had to deal with during the drop year. I stayed at home with my family but I always felt lonely deep inside. I was also constantly thinking about how would I do the next year, whether it was correct to take a drop or what if I don’t make it even the next year. All this added up to a constant phase of sadness, depression, and anxiety within me. I didn’t suffer from any sort of illness during this period but I gained a substantial amount of weight.

A few months before the exam, I felt I was quite ready with the material and my strategy but there was this constant chatter and anxiety in my mind which I could never get rid of. My mom saw through this anxiety and recommended me to start meditating. I was very reluctant at first, I never believed that sitting down crossed legged for an hour like a monk concentrating on some lighted candle would help me achieve anything(I didn’t even have the patience for that!). I just ignored the idea and went on doing my stuff.

Things changed when a few days later I saw an ad for a meditation app while I was watching a youtube video. I was about to skip the add but the voice of the narrator was so soothing and calming and the question of the ad made so much sense to my present situation that I went on to watch the full ad. I liked the idea and went on to explore it a bit further. The meditation app for which I saw the ad was Headspace. The person who was narrating the ad was Andy Puddicombe who is the co-founder of headspace. I went on to watch a TED talk that he did in 2013.

I decided to give the app a shot as it offered a free trial and went on with the basic training it offers. After the TED talk and a session in the app, I discovered that I held several misconceptions about meditation and it helped me realize that it doesn’t have to be as stringent as shown in movies:

• You don’t have to sit cross-legged back straight like a monk, Meditation encourages you to sit comfortably such that you stay attentive but also don’t feel any pressure of maintaining a posture. It can be as simple as sitting on a chair comfortably or even lying on the bed.
• It doesn’t take an hour! It only requires 10 minutes each day.
• You don’t need to focus on some burning candle! Most of the times you only need to concentrate on your breathing, it can be done by feeling the air through the nostrils or by the movement of the chest or stomach while breathing.
• Meditation is not about pressuring your mind into a discipline, it’s just about avoiding the chatter that’s going on in your brain and coming back to a point of focus or peace(in this case it is the breathing).

The first few days were hard, I kept drifting back into the chatter, anxiety and would simply forget about the breathing until the guide instructed to bring the focus back. But there were a few significant changes that I saw after a few days as I got better and better:

• The feeling of silence and peace in the mind after the 10 minutes was amazing.
• I was able to focus better on the task at hand because when my mind drifted away from the work, I was able to realize it quickly and come back to the task sooner than before.
• My anxiety started to vanish and the chatter and doubts in my mind started decreasing. I accepted the loneliness and was not very much bothered by it after a month in meditation.
• Another effect which I hadn’t anticipated was that I started to get angry less often and gave a better thought before I spoke something as I was able to take a step back and understood the difference between responding and reacting.

I continued my meditation consistently during this period, and I still remember what happened on the day of the exam. I was not really bothered about the result of the exam and was way calmer than the last time I gave my exam. I had zero doubts in my mind and there was no anxiety. Even my mom was surprised by how calm I was! There was constant noise of trains going by the exam center, the usual chatter in a crowd but I wasn’t noticing it and was able to focus on my exam.

The exam went much better than the last time and I was able to cultivate a tiny amount of mindfulness which made me much better mentally and even physically. I transitioned from finding meditation stupid and irrational to daily practicing it. I left it after I joined my college but I have begun practicing it again on a daily basis recently and plan on going for it for a full year this time.

A few tips for someone who might want to get started:

1. Go for a guided meditation through an app or youtube video. If you are a beginner you will need someone who can bring you back when you drift into thoughts and help you stay motivated.
2. Give at least 2 weeks to meditation, you won’t see instant effects.
3. The key to seeing results is consistency. Make sure even if you are doing it for 5 minutes, do it daily. Set a reminder or do it during traveling or a break.
4. Use earphones or headphones, They provide better sound and also cut out the noise from the surrounding.
5. And lastly don’t think about the results, they will come if you are consistent.

Meditation helped me immensely, And I am writing this article to share my experience so that others feel motivated to give it at least a try and see if it works for them, So go ahead and start meditating.

Thank You