Surround yourself with like-minded individuals!

Surround yourself with mediocrity and you will become mediocre!

Think about that for a second …

Let it sink in because this is an opportunity for you to be brutally honest with yourself.

I didn’t always get it right. I was terrible at surrounding myself with people who would push me to my limits and beyond. If I could describe it in a few words of what I was doing to myself, it would go something like, “I was creating my personal black hole!”

I was wasting so much time on people and things those people had me do because I wanted to feel like I am part of the “in” crew. The things I willfully agreed to wasting my time on. And time is such a precious commodity especially in today’s fast-paced life we are living.

After going through the pains of spending time with the wrong people, the time-wasting people and the happy-with-the-comfort-zone people I became much more cautious when it came to letting people into my inner circle over the years. So when I do let someone into, believe me they have been vetted by the Danwin-BS-Detector! But let me take it back a few years …

I used to suck at reading people!

Since school days I was exposed to the constant pressure of peers, fitting in and “hanging” with the in-crowd. And this messed up my perception of right and wrong, good and bad. This eventually spilled over into how I chose the people I wanted to hang out with, the character traits I actively seek out in others and the type of moral values I wanted to associate with. This had an even bigger impact on me as an individual because just like “you are what you eat”, I BECAME WHO I CONSTANTLY ASSOCIATED WITH.

So during my school days I chose to associate with the good and the bad, leaning more towards the bad. And when I say bad, I mean the friends I had weren’t as participative in school as any parent would’ve wished their child was, and so I wasn’t as participative as I probably would have been. With the odd bad habit picked up here and there (smoking and drinking), and getting into trouble with school authorities more than I should have. And some of you might say, “Danwin that’s just part of being a student”, but there is a root cause to all human behavior.

But there is an upside to this. Because I had been exposed to so many different types of individuals I could build up a list of DON’TS that I continually update as I go through life.

I still suck at reading people, but I rock at cutting off the bad parts!

Now that I am armed with this list of DON’TS I am more strategic as to who I surround myself with. I have seen a gradual increase in my happiness and well-being because my circle is small but the energy I feed off from them, the energy we feed off from each other is so intense and influential that I am starting each day on a high. And even when I don’t kick off on a high, I just need to press one of my “pack’s” button and I receive the reassurance I need to conquer the day.

I used to hold onto toxic relationships because it was my “comfort zone” and I used to be opposed to change, but I have learned to let go of those fears. I have mustered up the courage to be okay with cutting ties. It hurt. It still hurts. And I am guessing it will still hurt. But that I have figured out is life.

So here is my personal reminder checklist:

If you surround yourself with negative people, you will become a negative person.

If you surround yourself with obnoxious people, you will become an obnoxious person.

But on the flip side …

If you surround yourself with positive people, you will become a positive person.

If you surround yourself with high achieving and motivational people, you will become a high achiever and motivator.

And I also identified the one person who is responsible for this change, ME! I chose the people I want to surround myself with. I choose I want to be mediocre or fantastic. Me, me, me, me!

I chose not to disappoint myself anymore!

Yours truly,

Future CEO 👨‍💼

If you enjoyed this story or something stuck with you, please give it a clap or two.

The Ascent

A community of storytellers documenting the journey to happiness & fulfillment.

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Danwin Ambros-Francis

Written by

The Ascent

A community of storytellers documenting the journey to happiness & fulfillment.

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