Tearful Tuesday
Our autism journey

I generally think my emotions start on Monday, but I held in together pretty good. So I guess today is carry over day, because my emotions are all over the map. Some days I can’t even think from the tears and emotions I’m having. I can’t reign them in enough to move forward. I held Owen last night trying to help him with something, and he was a thirty-two pound bucking bronco, all emotions and spitfire. His tablet wasn’t doing what it should and I wasn’t fixing it fast enough. I know that he needs to learn that things don’t always go according to plan, but in that moment it was not the right time for a lesson and we had to focus on calm. He’s sitting next to me now, talking about shapes with the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I’m so thankful for the connection he has with these characters. They bring him comfort and teach him so many things. I sat staring at his foot as he was telling me about the shapes and notice a sore on his toe. I’m trying to keep my emotions from welling over. It’s a little tiny sore, probably were his shoes rubbed his feet, but he can’t tell me about it. He can’t say his foot hurts, in that same breath he has cried and said ouch when he hurt himself before, but he couldn’t tell me where. I know he is learning and growing, but some days it still gets me, gets me right in the heart. This is my baby, why do we have to struggle so. He slept fitfully lasts night, but yet is in such a great mood. For that I am happy. Every single day is a gift, I realize that more and more each day. I know life is full of challenges, but his smile is my motivation. His smile is what makes me push harder, even on days like this when all I want to do is cry. Today’s challenge is tomorrow’s victory. Never give up, happiness is always there if you let it shine. Make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!

