The Anxiety of ‘What’s Next?’
There are times when it can feel like life is a cycle of asking yourself, ‘what’s next?’ Seasons end and the next one rolls on. Change can be exciting, but it can also be a source of anxiety.
Like most 20-somethings, I know all too well what it is like to walk through transition and change. When you enter your early adulthood, these changes are normal and expected. The moment you walk out of school for the last time and you step into the big, wide world, you’re faced with decisions and opportunities you’ve never navigated before.
Before that, you knew what was next. You’d progress through each year level of school knowing that each year, you’d go up a grade. Suddenly, it’s not like that anymore. There are no compulsory next steps, you get to choose the next step in your story. Exciting or overwhelming? A bit of both.
Of course, it’s exciting to know that there are so many opportunities out there to pursue your passions and interests. But like a kid in a candy store with can become overwhelmed by the anxiety of choice.
Like a Kid In A Candy Store
Imagine a kid in a candy store, gazing up in awe of the choice he has before him. His eyes light up at the sight of the vibrant colours of all his favourite treats. He can’t wait to stuff his face his an array of sugar-loaded goodies!
As he starts dreaming and scheming of which ones he is going to take home with him, the shopkeeper says, “You should know, you can only choose one.” The child’s stomach sinks, “but how could I possibly choose just one?!” In a frantic panic, he calls out for his mother for help. He turns around but she isn’t there. “This is your choice to make, not her’s,” the shopkeeper tells him.
There are times when we are that kid — overwhelmed by the choices in front of us and so conditioned to having someone else make that decision for us. Throw in the guilt we are prone to feeling about being overwhelmed by choice — what a privileged thing to be overwhelmed about — and you have one anxious generation.
My Farming Ancestors
There is a book that outlines the history of my dad’s side of the family’s migration to Australia. At the start, it explores their life in Britain before migration and something hit home for me. For generations, they all lived in the same village, living out the same occupation. To me, that seemed like a nightmare — how much they were missing out on.
In my moments of anxiety about the unknowns of my future, I find myself envying my ancestors. For generations, they knew largely what life entailed. You’re born, you get some education until you’re required to work on the family farm. You procreate with someone nearby and convenient, then eventually, you die. Your kids then follow that same cycle.
Yes, I know it wasn’t that easy and simple, but in today’s age of choice, something is alluring about always knowing, vaguely, the direction of your life. Now, of course, there’s the part of the story where someone in my family decided to take their offspring on a boat to sail across the world to some unknown land. Sure, that decision certainly makes the things I get anxious about feel a bit petty.
What’s Next?
What I’m getting at is this — I, like so many of my peers — get anxious when it comes to thinking about ‘what’s next?’
We’re incapable of enjoying the present because we are so caught up in what our next big move is. We constantly look forward to new jobs, moving to a different place and starting new passion projects. We forget that what we are living in right now is what we looked forward to in the past.
What do we want to blame? Social media for showing us how others live and making us envious? TV commercials for training us to have the attention span of 30 seconds? Our parents’ for spoiling us and conditioning us to never be satisfied?
We could point the finger at a lot of things. It’s easier than taking responsibility for our mindset, but we have a choice. Before you start panicking over this choice, I’ll make it for you — take responsibility for how you think.
Taking Responsibility For Our Mindset
When I realised how much time I spent stressing about the future, I began to understand why I was so anxious all the time. I’d invested far too much energy into things that I had no control over in that time and place.
There’s nothing wrong with thinking about the future. We have to think ahead and be prepared. The issue is when we dwell on the things we can’t control.
I’ve noticed how much my momentum my train of thought can pick up when I’m anxious about the future. One moment I’m weighing up a job opportunity, the next I’m stressed about whether I’ll be able to retire in 2070.
I loathe making such cliche claims, like ‘live in the moment’ but it seems so appropriate. Being present in your current experiences can help remedy the anxiety of what’s next.
Be Present
As I write this, I’m in the closing stages of a chapter of my life, preparing for the next one. As one chapter closes, another one opens. I tend to try and rush through those last few pages and get onto the next chapter as quickly as possible. I want to know what’s happening next!
I’m learning that it’s important to savour every moment of each chapter. I’m trying to be more present in my present, spending less time thinking about what’s next. There are so many unknowns about what’s next that it can become crippling to spend too much time dwelling on it.
My challenge to myself is to soak up every moment of the present and read every remaining word of the chapter. I am choosing to spend less time worrying about things I can’t control and more time enjoying the present.
What’s next? I don’t know, but I’ll find out when the time is right.
