The Basic Need for Healthy Narcissism
To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~e.e. cummings
Healthy narcissism forms a constant, realistic self-interest, mature goals and principles, and an ability to form deep relationships. Freud contended in his paper ‘On Narcissism’ that primary narcissism is an essential part in normal development and is critical to one’s survival. Psychoanalyst Heinz Kohut, who introduced the term Narcissistic Personality Disorder, spoke of the child’s normal narcissistic entitlement as the foundation for a healthy emerging mature self.
In order to engender healthy narcissism you needed to be seen for whom you really were, to be understood, to express your feelings and needs, to be taken seriously, and to have your feelings and needs respected by your mother and father. If these narcissistic needs were adequately fulfilled, the developmental childhood stages of autonomy, initiative, competence, identity and intimacy would be satisfied and healthy self-esteem would result.
A foundation of healthy narcissism requires parents to provide the following:
* React calmly and reassuringly to any of my aggressive impulses
