The Cost of Always Weighing the Best Choice
Trying to always pick the best option sabotages our general happiness.
The perfect friend.
The perfect job.
The perfect Yelp dinner choice.
The search process is exhaustive and we end up feeling less happier no matter what choice we made. We’re still doubting whether our final choice was the best one. We’re still thinking about our options and we never feel completely satisfied.
But the main culprit to the maximizing choice scheme is that there is no perfect choice.
You should have seen my social life in college.
I was in at least four different groups because I couldn’t make up my mind to just settle down and go all in.
Sure, there’s the notion “different friends offer different things” but there’s a huge difference between knowing everyone generally and really knowing a number of people with whom you’re intentional.
And in trying to find the perfect social group I ended up feeling more alone because I didn’t commit to one sense of community.
So now I’m letting go of the idea of perfect ________. And I’m practicing simplified decision making even for the small things.
Like looking at a menu.
Or choosing an extracurricular class.
Or picking an article topic.
And in turn, I’m left with way more benefits than costs.
Benefit 1:
Building a decisive character.
People often say, “I’m just so indecisive,” when really, they can change and build towards being a more decisive person by practicing with small decisions.
Benefit 2:
Saving one of your most important assets — time.
We waste too much time ruminating about the same decision multiple times a day or even week, when we could be thinking about more productive topics or engage with present living more.
One of the most useful tips someone gave me was to set aside a specific time to make the important decision rather than vaguely go back and forth at every other moment.
Benefit 3:
Actually enjoying the choices you’ve made.
When we’re striving for perfect choices, our mind can only default to past or future thinking — past assessment of choices leading to regret or questioning or future assessment of choices weighing all the other options.
But when we’re able to have a good-enough choice mentality, we can take a break from the mental work and enjoy the present decision made.
I’m still working on straying away from maximizing all my choices, especially ones concerning my career. But I’ve noticed a life quality difference when I started practicing a “good-enough” mindset towards small scale decisions.
My general restlessness is toned down.
My anxiety spikes less.
And I have a greater sense of control.
If you’re also someone that struggles with wanting to be a perfectionist with all your decisions, I hope you can improve the quality of your life by cutting yourself some slack.
Because honestly, none of us can ever make a perfect decision.
