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The Ideal I Buried So I Could Live

Romantic Stoic
Jul 11 · 6 min read

The Ideal I Keep Trying to Bury

Nowadays I call myself a Romantic who doesn’t believe in romantic love, but the truth is I’m a Romantic who buried my ideal of romantic love because the rational part of my brain knows it’ll destroy me.

Why I Buried This Ideal

Sounds simple enough, right? I mean, someone somewhere surely has something resembling what I’ve described. Maybe it’s you. But I’ve never met anyone with the kind of romantic love I’ve wanted since I was a seventh grader under Orion’s glow. Sometimes I wonder if my dream is built on childhood wounds and not an example of “true love” anyway.

Trading Romantic Love for Romantic Life

After burying this ideal, I found it impossible and, well, pretty stupid to try to eradicate Romanticism from my life. It’s who I am, part of the phenomenological way I experience daily life. Sensually, magically, and with an air of childlike wonder. This is who I am and who I want to be.

I Fell in Love in the Most Honest Way

With a book. It wasn’t even one of my favorite writers. I was standing in the used bookstore I frequent when I spotted Posthumous Keats by Stanley Plumly. It was during my recovery from this epic ideal funeral.

When it Haunts from Dark Corners

Oh, it’s still there. Sometimes. Lurking in the dark corners of my bedroom before I fall asleep, waking me in the middle of the night to remind me what it felt like to be held until sunrise, and glistening on my windowsill in the early morning hours when I check my phone to see if someone cares.

The Ascent

A community of storytellers documenting the journey to happiness & fulfillment.

Romantic Stoic

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The heart and hopeless resilience of a 1920’s novelist with the mind and pragmatism of an early Grecian stoic.

The Ascent

A community of storytellers documenting the journey to happiness & fulfillment.